Holliston (TV Series)

Joe's Soda (2013)

Adam Green: Adam

Quotes 

• Mark Ward : I'm not a werewolf. I was doing bath salts, OK? I started partying on... what day is it?

  Adam : Sunday.

  Mark Ward : It is? I've been high since Tuesday, awesome!

• Oderus Urungus : I'm an alien monster not Casper the stupid ghost!

  Adam : Friendly. Casper's a friendly ghost.

  Oderus Urungus : Oh whatever. He sucks and you suck for knowing that!

• Joe : Cory Haim was also in LICENSE TO DRIVE or as it's called in Adam's collection... LICENSE TO SWALLOW 13.

  Adam : Now that's definitely not true. I haven't even finished LICENSE TO SWALLOW 12 yet.

• Corri : I'm bleeding! I'm bleeding!

  Joe : Apparently so is Adam this week.

  Corri : Some guy bit me on my arm!

  Laura : We've all got problems today, Corri. I'm trying to fill out a wicked hard application, take a number.

  Corri : I am bleeding!

  Joe : My Diet Coke is flat! Do we really wanna start this right now, Corri?

  Adam : Some guy bit you? Where?

  Laura : On her arm. Do you even read the scripts you write?

  Adam : No, I mean where did it happen?

  Corri : I was walking out of the hospital and some crazy guy was being dragged in by the EMT.

  Laura : Aww, I always get so sad when ET goes home.

  Corri : No, EMT? The ambulance driver?

  Laura : [Pointing to Corri's injury, ala ET]  "Ooooouch."

• Corri : A werewolf? Seriously? How much have you guys had to drink tonight?

  Joe : Not a drop! There's no carbonation in this soda whatsoever!

  Adam : Not now, Joe.

  Joe : Oh, Oh, let's just make it all about the B-story, huh?

  Adam : B-Story? What's the A-story line?

  Joe : [Joe points at his flat Diet Coke] 

  Adam : Wow, we're getting pretty desperate for story lines, huh?

  Joe : Yeah.

• Adam : Hold still, Guy from American Werewolf in London.

• Corri : What happened with the guy?

  Adam : Joe untied him and let him escape.

  Joe : That was you!

  Adam : Just go with it.

  Joe : That was me.

• Corri : If you don't let me go to the bathroom right now I am never talking to any of you again ever.

  Adam : Get the party bucket, Joe.

  Corri : The party bucket?

  Joe : You know, sometimes when you've got the spins and...

  Corri : - I am not peeing in a bucket!

  Adam : Fine! I'll take you to the bathroom.

  Corri : No. Laura can take me.

  Adam : I really think I should be the one to take you to the bathroom, Corri.

  Corri : You are not watching me pee, Adam.

  Adam : Damnit.

• Adam : You're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. Go back to sleep, sleep, sleep. Get back together with Adam, Adam Adam...

• Lance Rockett : Fake Eddie Van Halen is passing a kidney stone so the band is on hiatus until he pops that sucker out.

  Adam : How metal.

  Lance Rockett : Kidney stones are not metal. Lance Rockett always says, "Drink plenty of water, watch for calcium build-up, and stay in school." Words I live by. That, and... "Always shave the taint."