- David Sawyer: Mrs. Forrest, by any chance did you have sex last night?
- Jane Forrest: Please!
- [David gives her a look]
- Jane Forrest: Okay. I did. I had relations with a man.
- David Sawyer: See, now that wasn't that hard to say now, was it?
- Jane Forrest: Not for you. You've probably been saying it since you were fourteen years old. Now what happened to me? What was it?
- David Sawyer: Well, I believe that you had what we in the medical profession refer to as an orgasm.
- Frances: New flash, Bryan. You are a self-absorbed, insecure, smug little princess.
- Bryan Collins: Well, joke's on you, because that's exactly what I was going for.
- Bryan Collins: There's no one else here, Frances. You can leave the bubbly effervescence to the seltzer.
- Goldie Clemmons: Thanks for doing this, guys. Especially you Bryan. I know that dog with a bandana frightened you.
- Bryan Collins: Its owner was wearing cut-off jeans as a bathing suit.
- Jane Forrest: I need a, um, a doctor that, um, I need a doctor who does what you do. But not you.
- David Sawyer: You feel more comfortable with a female gynecologist.
- Jane Forrest: Wrong. No woman is touching my vagina, not even me.
- [last lines]
- David Sawyer: I'm going to bed, you coming?
- Bryan Collins: I'll be right up, there's something I have to do.
- David Sawyer: 'Kay.
- [Bryan pulls out his phone and makes a call]
- Bryan's mom [voice]: Hello?
- Bryan Collins: Hey mom, it's me.
- Frances: And who is this adorable blonde, with the button nose and the big goyish eyes?
- Goldie Clemmons: They're actually more greenish.
- Jane Forrest: Last night, I felt this very strange tingling sensation.
- David Sawyer: Uh huh.
- Jane Forrest: And then I became very light-headed.
- David Sawyer: Mmm.
- Jane Forrest: I believe that what I had was a petit mal seizure. I learned this on Dr. Oz.
- Goldie Clemmons: Although technically, I did kidnap her, cross state lines, and get knocked up by a couple of gay guys.