Glee (TV Series)

Britney 2.0 (2012)

Heather Elizabeth Morris: Brittany S. Pierce

Quotes 

• Brittany Pierce : [to the camera]  My name is Brittany S. Pierce and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I am on top of the world. Senior year was awesome and now, I get to relive every minute of it. I'm Head Cheerio, Vice Rachel of the glee club and now I'm planning a Middle East-style sham election that will install me as senior class president for life.

  Blaine Anderson : Brittany, who are you talking to?

  Brittany Pierce : I thought I was doing a voiceover.

• Brittany Pierce : [to her phone]  Kiki, why is everybody staring at me?

  Kiki : [in an automated African-American accent]  Because those fools are jealous.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Who's Kiki?

  Brittany Pierce : Kiki is Siri's super-smart older cousin who's really jealous of how famous Siri's gotten. She lives inside this super cheap phone I found at the laundromat.

• Brittany Pierce : Sorry I'm late. Somebody took my compass.

• Brittany Pierce : My voice is too weak to sing live. I've been up every night this week yelling at the shrubs in my yard that have been making fun of me.

• Brittany Pierce : [to Sue]  Tough love feels a lot like mean.

• Brittany Pierce : [to Lord Tubbington]  I'm not speaking to you. I know you joined a gang.

• Brittany Pierce : After school, I'm hopping into bed, eating cashews and bacon, and then watching "The Client List" marathon.

• Brittany Pierce : [about to shave her hair a la Britney]  Coach Sylvester's taken away my high pony. If I can't have my high pony, I don't want any hair at all.

• Brittany Pierce : I got a C minus on my U.S. History exam which the teacher bumped up two whole letter grades because I wrote in English instead of my secret language I invented in middle school.

• Sue Sylvester : My girls no longer see academic achievement as a worthy goal and yesterday, I caught one of them trying to marry a squirrel.

  Brittany Pierce : That's because I believe in marriage equality for all land mammals.

• Brittany Pierce : I started taking Lord Tubbington's pills for feline depression.