30 Rock (TV Series)

There's No I in America (2012)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Liz Lemon , Jack Donaghy : [At the same time]  Jenna, we have to talk.

  Liz Lemon : Me first, because I'm your best friend and this is very important.

  Jack Donaghy : You know what? Talk to Lemon. I'll find someone else for my thing you're not right for.

  Jenna Maroney : What thing? I was born for it. Am I not blonde enough? Because I'll put my head in a microwave.

• Jack Donaghy : I bet you bought those hideous shoes for some emotional reason.

  Liz Lemon : For every pair you buy, they give a pair to a child that was forced to work in the factory that makes these shoes.

• Liz Lemon : What America needs is four more years of the stuff Obama's been doing. Like The one with the guy. It was at night, and I feel like he was standing next to a fence.

  Jack Donaghy : This country needs Mitt Romney.

  Liz Lemon : Like it needs a hole in the head.

  Jack Donaghy : A head has five holes, and they are all needed.

• Jack Donaghy : Lemon, this kind of sentimental nonsense didn't work with Jenna. It certainly won't work with the man who didn't cry at "Field of Dreams," not even when the bank failed to recoup its investment in the farm.

• Liz Lemon : [Liz is sweating during her debate with Jack]  Jenna, you need to trust me here. Have I ever steered you wrong? I stopped you when you wanted to join that white tiger magic show. I stopped you when you tried to drive us into Lake Michigan because Scottie Pippen got married. Listen to me, Jenna, and listen to your heart!

  Jack Donaghy : Miss Lemon, I know Scottie Pippen. I own a Fuddrucker's with Scottie Pippen. And you, sir, look like Scottie Pippen.

• Liz Lemon : How do you sleep at night, Jack?

  Jack Donaghy : I don't. I take thousands of micronaps during the day.

  Liz Lemon : Well, you know what?

  Jack Donaghy : [snores, then snaps awake]  No, Lemon. What?

• Liz Lemon : Okay, Jack, I was hoping that we could get through this "campaign" without going negative.

  Jack Donaghy : I agree. You're the one using negative words like "without" and "negative".

• Jenna Maroney : Now, who am I telling these turds to vote for? Mike Romney?

  Jack Donaghy : Mitt. It stands for Motorized Intelligent Technodrome Termina -- It's a human's name.

• Liz Lemon : You know Jenna is a liberal, Jack. She's a slut monster, and one of gay America's top hags. But this is what you do. You trick people into voting against their own interests. And then you sell them out at the drop of a hat.

  Jack Donaghy : First of all, I have never dropped a hat in my life. And don't be so sure about Jenna's politics. She's aging, mean, and rich. That sounds Republican to me.

  Liz Lemon : Jenna is overly sensitive, prone to hysteria, and having been shot and left for dead in three different deserts, pro-gun control. She's one of us.

• Jenna Maroney : My next question refers to an issue that I know deeply affects the vast majority of Jenna Maroney. Which political party is cooler?

  Liz Lemon : It's no contest, Jenna! The president listens to hip-hop rappings. We have the coolest celebrities. Scarlett Johansson. Blake Lively. Jessica Biel...

  Jack Donaghy : Wow. Those are all very beautiful women. Do you really want to be photographed next to them? Let me tell you who we have: Craig T. Nelson, Chuck Norris, and Charlton Heston's skull. You'd be the only cool Republican.

• Jenna Maroney : Mr. Donaghy, your closing statements?

  Jack Donaghy : When our founding fathers first set out, time and time again, our nation horizon... prosperity... dreams... freedom. But the spirit... journey... destiny. Mitt Romney values. Jenna values. I've met people. For this generation and generations to come. Thank you, America.