Roman Love Temple
- 1969
- 44m
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Bottom-of-the-barrel - though oddly compelling - softcore historical porn
Purveyors of some of the most fascinatingly low-rent soft-to-hardcore transition movies, Topar Films strikes again with ROMAN LOVE TEMPLE, an objectively wretched though almost hypnotically inert dimestore attempt at retro erotica.
There's no plot to speak of - the film just jumps around various scenes at the "Roman Temple of Love," which look like a couple rooms at one of those kitschy lovers' getaway hotels. There's the high priestess of the temple, who orders everyone who comes in to be anointed and ends up hooking up with a handsome sailor so he can prove his mettle after a love bath. Another young woman who was "picked up outside the temple walls" or some such gets similar treatment, of the Sapphic variety, with her attendant. Film ends with the sailor proving his prowess, albeit still in softcore fashion.
There's no technical level on which this film isn't irredeemably awful, but as a historical artifact, it's oddly mesmerizing. The entire thing is shot in a couple cheaply decorated rooms, but god bless the crew if they didn't try, braiding up the actresses' hair and finding at least most of the participants grade-school-play-worthy costumes to throw on. Everyone mumbles their way through stilted "classical" verbiage with a narcotized disinterest that should put most viewers to sleep - and if that doesn't do it, the complete lack of any music track to distract from the muffled, abysmal sound recording will do the trick. Of course, it was de rigeur in the years before this simply to shoot MOS and dub narration, but I have to suspect Topar didn't even put in the time to do a second pass on this thing. ROMAN LOVE TEMPLE smacks of a movie shot not just in a day but a *morning*. They probably cut out the slates and struck release prints in the afternoon. It's frankly incredible any are still around to watch today.
There's no plot to speak of - the film just jumps around various scenes at the "Roman Temple of Love," which look like a couple rooms at one of those kitschy lovers' getaway hotels. There's the high priestess of the temple, who orders everyone who comes in to be anointed and ends up hooking up with a handsome sailor so he can prove his mettle after a love bath. Another young woman who was "picked up outside the temple walls" or some such gets similar treatment, of the Sapphic variety, with her attendant. Film ends with the sailor proving his prowess, albeit still in softcore fashion.
There's no technical level on which this film isn't irredeemably awful, but as a historical artifact, it's oddly mesmerizing. The entire thing is shot in a couple cheaply decorated rooms, but god bless the crew if they didn't try, braiding up the actresses' hair and finding at least most of the participants grade-school-play-worthy costumes to throw on. Everyone mumbles their way through stilted "classical" verbiage with a narcotized disinterest that should put most viewers to sleep - and if that doesn't do it, the complete lack of any music track to distract from the muffled, abysmal sound recording will do the trick. Of course, it was de rigeur in the years before this simply to shoot MOS and dub narration, but I have to suspect Topar didn't even put in the time to do a second pass on this thing. ROMAN LOVE TEMPLE smacks of a movie shot not just in a day but a *morning*. They probably cut out the slates and struck release prints in the afternoon. It's frankly incredible any are still around to watch today.
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- Davian_X
- Dec 6, 2021
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- Roman Love Temple 69 B.C.
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