Modern Family (TV Series)
Yard Sale (2012)
Ariel Winter: Alex Dunphy
Photos
Quotes
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Claire Dunphy : [about Alex's 'gay' boyfriend] If she wants to get her heart broken by a gay guy, she can do so when she's 18 or 19 and can drink her way through it.
Mitchell Pritchett : Aw. You're a 'good mother.'
Claire Dunphy : Mm-hmm.
Cameron Tucker : I don't know, Claire. You could be wrong. Boys aren't as concerned about traditional masculinity anymore. You know, they're not butching it up. They're not pushing down their feelings.
Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, they care about their clothes.
Cameron Tucker : Mm-hmm.
Mitchell Pritchett : They-they-they groom.
Cameron Tucker : Mm-hmm.
Mitchell Pritchett : Everybody's hairless. Yeah, you can't tell anything anymore.
Cameron Tucker : Mm-mm.
Claire Dunphy : Really?
Alex Dunphy : Oh. Hey. Hey. Uncle Mitch, Uncle Cam, this is Michael.
Mitchell Pritchett : Hi!
Cameron Tucker : Hello.
Michael : [Effeminately] Hi.
Alex Dunphy : [Leading him away] Okay, come on.
Mitchell Pritchett : Yep, he's gay.
Cameron Tucker : We stand corrected.
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Cameron Tucker : J'accuse!
Mitchell Pritchett : I'm sorry. One more time?
Cameron Tucker : It's just a dramatic way of accusing you of stashing my fat pants in a bush! Saboteur!
Mitchell Pritchett : That's a second way.
Cameron Tucker : How... could... you?
Mitchell Pritchett : And a third.
Cameron Tucker : Why, Mitchell? Why?
Mitchell Pritchett : Cam... oh, come on. All right, the... this is a little hard to say, but... every time you get rid of these pants, you have to buy them all over again, and you get depressed, all right? This is just a way to have a safety net.
Cameron Tucker : I can't have a safety net, Mitchell. Otherwise, I won't be successful and keep the weight off. Have you ever thought of that?
Mitchell Pritchett : No. No, I didn't.
Cameron Tucker : You know, you're not the only one who remembers all the times I failed.
Mitchell Pritchett : You're right. I-I should support you more. I'm-I'm sorry.
Cameron Tucker : I'm happy to hear you say that.
Mitchell Pritchett : Well, I'm happy you're happy.
Alex Dunphy : Well, I hope you both are happy. Michael's not gay. Now he hates me. Thanks a lot.
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Alex Dunphy : Ugh, stop, I get it. I know what you think about Michael, Mom. You didn't have to bring your big gay guns to back you up. No offense.
Mitchell Pritchett : None taken.
Cameron Tucker : I kinda like it.
Claire Dunphy : Okay. Honey, I am worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt.
Mitchell Pritchett : I told them that this was a bad idea, all right? You know, maybe Michael's gay. Maybe he's not. He is. Your mother just wants you to have all the information so that-that you can go slow.
Alex Dunphy : Uncle Mitchell, he's straight. We kissed.
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, honey, I... I kissed a lot of girls when I wanted to be straight. And your Uncle Cam kissed some, too, he says. But that's neither here nor there. What's important is that you make your own-
[Alex walks away]
Mitchell Pritchett : Where-wait, where are you going?
Alex Dunphy : It's not the olden days anymore, you guys. I can just ask him.
Claire Dunphy : Ohh.
Mitchell Pritchett : Hope you're happy.
Cameron Tucker : I'm not. That 'olden days' comment was like a punch to the gut. She may as well have spray-painted it on my daddy's barn.
Mitchell Pritchett : Yeah, I'm done with this.
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Phil Dunphy : [Comes out of the garage on a walking bike] Heads up! Coming through!
Claire Dunphy : Wow! I am glad you're finally getting rid of that thing.
Phil Dunphy : What? I'm not selling this bad boy. I was gonna meet you at your dad's and get a little exercise on the way. What's, uh, what's your beef with my StreetStrider?
Alex Dunphy : Even *I* think it's nerdy, and I'm fluent in Elvish.
Phil Dunphy : It's not nerdy. Luke, back me up.
Luke Dunphy : I hope you mean into the garage, because I have friends on this street.
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Alex Dunphy : Mom, is it okay if Michael comes to the yard sale?
Claire Dunphy : Well, honey, didn't you see him last night?
Alex Dunphy : So? Why don't you like my boyfriend?
Claire Dunphy : I do like him.
[Cut to side interview]
Claire Dunphy : I'm just 90% sure he's 100% gay.
Alex Dunphy : [In her own side interview] Yes, when Michael took me to prom, I questioned his sexuality. But then... we made out. A couple times. There was even a little... under-the-shirt action.
[Grinning]
Alex Dunphy : His chest is very smooth.