Modern Family (TV Series)

Yard Sale (2012)

Nolan Gould: Luke Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Manny Delgado : We're having a yard sale for our Social Studies class to raise money for UNICEF. The point is for us to learn about global altruism.

  Luke Dunphy : No, the point is for us to raise more money than Ms. Cooper's class so we get a pizza and a pool party.

  Manny Delgado : Your cynicism makes me sad for our world.

  Luke Dunphy : Ease up, Delgado. I've seen you with a pizza.

• Manny Delgado : I wonder what's in there.

  Luke Dunphy : Wake up, Delgado. Locked box, from Colombia, 'no more questions'? It's obviously a human head.

  Manny Delgado : Why is that always your first guess?

  Luke Dunphy : One of these days, I'm gonna be right.

• Manny Delgado : No matter what we find in here, I will always love my mother.

  Luke Dunphy : Even if it's a head?

  Manny Delgado : It's not a head.

  [They open the box] 

  Manny Delgado : Oh, my God! It's a head!

  Luke Dunphy : Ah! Finally!

• Luke Dunphy : Sorry for snooping around and finding your old-man doll.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : In Colombia, if you snoop around the wrong box, you might end up *inside* that box.

  Luke Dunphy : I shouldn't have done it. Now I feel bad for Manny.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What do you mean?

  Luke Dunphy : Well, I don't know. He's always talking about how brave you are, how you're not afraid of anything. Now... he just seems a little sad.

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : How sad?

  Luke Dunphy : Don't worry. It's a good thing. He needs a little dose of reality. You walk around school telling everyone how great your mommy is all the time, you find yourself on the business end of a wedgie.

  [In side interview] 

  Luke Dunphy : I know how to push buttons to get what I want. And what I want is to see a puppet show.

• Mitchell Pritchett : [about Cam]  Oh, every time. Every time he loses weight, he gets rid of his big pants. And then when he puts the weight back on, he has to buy them all new again. It-it's a nightmare.

  Jay Pritchett : Just put the jeans in the car while he's in the house.

  Mitchell Pritchett : No, dad! That's incredibly dis- I'm gonna do that. Yeah.

  Luke Dunphy : Whoa! Where do you think you're going with those?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, these aren't for sale.

  Luke Dunphy : Hey, this is for charity. You know you're taking those jeans out of the hands of some needy, giant children.

  Mitchell Pritchett : You know they're not getting the actual jeans, right, Luke?

  Luke Dunphy : Oh. Right. Well, then how about a donation?

  Mitchell Pritchett : $20 bucks?

  Luke Dunphy : $100.

  Mitchell Pritchett : ... $20?

  Luke Dunphy : Sure, what's it to you if some kid gets sick bathing in Poo River, Africa?

  Mitchell Pritchett : [Gives him the money]  Ew.

• Luke Dunphy : You're not even here anymore.

  Haley Dunphy : But it's my stuff. Where's Mom? Luke, take me to Mom. And move slow. I'm still drunk-

  [Claire walks up] 

  Haley Dunphy : -king my coffee. Mom!

• Phil Dunphy : [Comes out of the garage on a walking bike]  Heads up! Coming through!

  Claire Dunphy : Wow! I am glad you're finally getting rid of that thing.

  Phil Dunphy : What? I'm not selling this bad boy. I was gonna meet you at your dad's and get a little exercise on the way. What's, uh, what's your beef with my StreetStrider?

  Alex Dunphy : Even *I* think it's nerdy, and I'm fluent in Elvish.

  Phil Dunphy : It's not nerdy. Luke, back me up.

  Luke Dunphy : I hope you mean into the garage, because I have friends on this street.