Modern Family (TV Series)

Mistery Date (2012)

Ariel Winter: Alex Dunphy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Claire Dunphy : [talking to the competition judges]  She clearly misheard the question. The acoustics in here are terrible. Especially for a little girl just getting over an ear infection.

  Alex Dunphy : Oh, my god, what are you doing?

  Claire Dunphy : I was explaining your...

  Alex Dunphy : Oh, I heard, because my ears are fine. I'm sorry. I didn't ask her to do this.

  Claire Dunphy : Honey, I'm trying to help you.

  Alex Dunphy : No, you are not. You are trying to help you. You're just mad because now you can't parade me around like some show pony.

  Claire Dunphy : That is not true.

  Alex Dunphy : Oh, don't deny it. You bought the two-day cushion.

  Claire Dunphy : [to the judges as she leaves]  Who are you to judge?

• Claire Dunphy : What are you doing back here?

  Alex Dunphy : I didn't have the room key, and I don't wanna be seen in public.

  Claire Dunphy : I thought about what you said before...

  Moderator : When did China's last emperor ascend the throne?

  Alex Dunphy : 1909.

  Claire Dunphy : And you can say a lot of things about me, but I am not someone who lives through her kids.

  Moderator : [buzzer]  Sorry. It's 1909.

  Claire Dunphy : Do I like to see you succeed? Of course I do!

  Moderator : Tritium is an isotope of what element?

  Alex Dunphy : Hydrogen.

  Claire Dunphy : But do I need that to make myself feel important? Absolutely not.

  Moderator : [buzzer]  No, the answer is hydrogen.

  Claire Dunphy : As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt you would think I was so shallow.

  Moderator : The Persian satrapy of Skudra included which two areas?

  Alex Dunphy : Macedonia and Thrace.

  Claire Dunphy : I know moms like that, and that is not me. No way.

  Moderator : [buzzer]  Macedonia and Thrace.

  Claire Dunphy : Are you freaking kidding me? Macedonia and Thrace? What even is that? You're hardly even listening! How could we lose this?

  [realizing] 

  Claire Dunphy : I said "we."

  Alex Dunphy : Yeah. You do that sometimes.

• Claire Dunphy : I'm so sorry. I am one of those moms. I like it too much when you win. I really love lording it over the other moms.

  Alex Dunphy : Well, in our house, I'm kind of your only source for that.

  Claire Dunphy : You're telling me. Haley e-mails me pictures of her nails. And Luke asked me if he's part owl.

  Alex Dunphy : He does get his head pretty far around.

  Claire Dunphy : Alex, I'm so sorry.

  Alex Dunphy : It's okay. Maybe you do put pressure on me, but it's nothing compared to what I put on myself. I guess I needed somebody to blame for what happened today, and there you were.

  Claire Dunphy : You know I'm in awe of you, right? Come on. I know a back way out of this place.

  Alex Dunphy : [standing, Claire picks up her cushion]  Wait. Don't you have to return that?

  Claire Dunphy : No way. I paid good money for this. We're taking it down the waterslide.

• Cushion Stealer : Oh, that's a good idea.

  Claire Dunphy : Oh, yeah. The chairs are rocks. You can get a one-day cushion for $8, or a two-day for $12.

  Moderator : Alex Dunphy.

  Claire Dunphy : Last year, I got two 1-dayers; big mistake.

  Moderator : Who wrote the 95 thesis?

  Claire Dunphy : My daughter went on to win the whole thing, and all I could think was, "I just flushed $4 down the toilet."

  Alex Dunphy : John Calvin.

  Claire Dunphy : [buzzer]  Whoo! Alex! I guess I just didn't want to presume that we would be here for the two days. But still, what kind of message was I sending with the 1-dayer?

  Alex Dunphy : You "whoo"-ed me?

  Claire Dunphy : What are you doing here?

  Alex Dunphy : I'm out. I got the question wrong, which is embarrassing enough without you "whoo"-ing me.

  Claire Dunphy : Alex! Alex, come back here.

  [as she leaves, the woman she was talking to moves to take her seat cushion] 

  Claire Dunphy : [coming back for it]  Don't!

• Claire Dunphy : Honey, we have an hour until the competition. Do you want to go to the contestants' mixer?

  Alex Dunphy : No, I don't want to humanize them.