- Axl Heck: Alan Hung! What's up, buddy? You can, like, hack into people's computers, right? 'Cause there's this paper on my sister's computer, password is "Ihearttrying".
- Axl Heck: It's true, Sue. Teachers are lazy. They know it only takes a day to do a project, but if they gave us assignments every day, they'd have to grade them every day. They don't want it; we don't want it. It's an unspoken agreement. Who are you to mess with the American educational system? We're not number one in the world for nothing. Suck it, China! That's why they gotta make all our stuff for us.
- Axl Heck: ...And another thing, why are you always raising your hand and asking questions like a dork? Stare at the clock and wait for the bell to ring like a normal person.
- Sue Heck: Excuse me if I like to participate.
- Frankie Heck: What's going on?
- Axl Heck: So I'm sitting in my Life Skills class, minding my own business, when Hurricane Sue rolls in blowing geek and raining nerd everywhere.
- Sue Heck: What are you even doing in that class? It's for freshmen and sophomores only, not loser seniors who missed it 'cause they were taking Math two times.
- Axl Heck: Ha! It was English I took twice. Who's the idiot now?
- Brick Heck: Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. So now I need a therapist? Am I really that weird?
- Frankie Heck: Look, you're no weirder than you've ever been. It's just that suddenly the school seems to care.
- Brick Heck: Don't you think that's something we should talk about? What happened to "You're growing up, Brick. We should include you in the conversations, Brick."?
- Mike Heck: It's good for you, and it's free. You're doing it.
- Axl Heck: Got a really big project tomorrow, so I'm just gonna watch a few hours of TV to get the brain fired up, and get started.
- Sue Heck: Don't bother. It's already done and tied up and stuffed in a bag by the door. As should you be for your lackluster effort.
- Frankie Heck: Wait. Wasn't this project both of yours?
- Sue Heck: Yes.
- Axl Heck: Yes. But I guess she went ahead and did it without me. Can you believe this? I was so looking forward to learning, and she robbed me of that. She's so selfish!
- Wendell: Looks like the incident of January 10th is not covered under Acts of God.
- Mike Heck: What?
- Frankie Heck: What? A tree branch fell down on our car. How is that not an Act of God? Tree - made by God, blown down by the wind - more God. That's actually double Act of God. We should be getting two checks.