- Gloria buys a microphone so she can sing to her unborn baby. Claire and Cameron try to renovate a baseball field so Luke's and Manny's baseball team has a place to play.
- As Haley (Sarah Hyland) heads off to her first day at work, where she can feel like she's really accomplishing something (HALEY: No offense, Mom.), Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) has donned his overalls to build a field for Luke and Manny's baseball team. They made the playoffs to everyone's surprise, including their own. Claire (Julie Bowen) goes out to lend a hand, and despite the horrible shape the lot is in (along with a few not-dead-yet snakes), they were optimistic. Although Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) would take a pass, because the only thing worse than Cameron dressed as Fizbo or in overalls is Fizbo dressed in overalls. Or Farmbo, if you will.
Gloria (Sofía Vergara) takes time to talk to her unborn child using a microphone and speakers attached to her stomach, invoking Jay's (Ed O'Neill) annoyance. And that was before she started singing. (JAY: I would have given ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut up.) But somehow, Luke (Nolan Gould) is even more annoyed at Manny (Rico Rodriguez), who can't play baseball to save his life. Manny was actually proud of going 22 games without playing a single inning. But now he has to play right field because a couple of players have to attend their grandmother's funeral. Luke is trying to give him lessons on batting.
LUKE: Will you choke up a little?
MANNY: Probably when they play the National Anthem.
LUKE: Move your hands up on the bat.
Meanwhile, Cam and Mitch's neighbor is selling her house, and Claire sees the awesome deal they can get for it. But since it would require a bit of work, Cam and she were confident they could flip the house and turn a great profit, particularly if they could get Phil (Ty Burrell) and Mitchell in on it. Mitchell was very much against it, but Phil promised to talk to Mitchell about it. And he does...completely agreeing with Mitchell. However, Phil made it look like he begged and pleaded for Mitch to be on board so he was the bad guy and Phil wasn't. That didn't sit over well with Mitchell as you might suspect, but if Mitchell ratted on him, then Phil would rat on what happened to the sweater Cameron knitted for Mitchell six months ago. (a turtleneck sort of thing that looked a lot like the ones my mom used to wear...30 years ago)
Jay didn't have a choice; he had to get the microphone away from the only singer who could make Rebecca Black sound like Beyonce. (Yes, Rebecca Black has an IMDb page. That is SO wrong.) Jay tries a few jokes and talks to the fetus, who obviously doesn't respond. (JAY: Wow, tough womb.) But Gloria thinks the fetus just needs to hear more of her singing, while Jay naturally thinks otherwise.
At the ballfield, Claire starts crying when she can't move a huge rock.
CAMERON: What did we learn from A League of Their Own (1992)?
CLAIRE: There's no crying in baseball?
CAMERON: No, that Madonna's a lousy actress, and so are you.
But Claire had been looking for work and didn't have any success. She wanted to contribute financially to her kids' education, which Cam understood, as he became a part-time teacher for the money. (Yes, you heard that right.) Cam goes to Mitchell to confront him about doing the house flip, saying if they were a car, he'd be the gas and Mitchell would be the brake. (MITCHELL: If we were a horse, I know which part you'd be.) Cam accused him of not being more like Phil, so Mitchell decided to do exactly that. He decided to be on board to force the cheerleader to show his hand. Cam goes right to calling Claire, who is naturally excited and tells Phil they were flipping the house. Phil calls Mitchell back (Nice work with the cat, BTW. Totally You Only Live Twice (1967)!) and is ready to take him on. (PHIL: You want to play chicken, chicken is my middle name!) But Mitchell was ready to take him on...until Phil sent him a text because Mitch stopped taking his calls. And Mitchell responded with one of his own. Phil said he had to take responsibility or else, and Mitchell said he didn't care if Phil spilled the beans about him throwing out that hideous sweater. Oh, the entire conversation was going to Claire's phone because Phil didn't know how to turn off group text, so now Cameron knows about the sweater. And when Mitch and Phil agreed they had to shut down the house flip without Claire and Cam knowing about it, Claire texted back "TOO LATE!"
Phil and Mitchell were into serious damage control, but they weren't as desperate as Jay was stop Gloria from singing again. He was even reading articles from the newspaper, and not the happy ones, either. (JAY: He's heard worse.) Gloria wants the microphone back and Jay doesn't want to give it up. The two begin arguing, but Manny tells them to break it up so the unborn baby doesn't hear them. They relent and agree not to argue in front of the baby. Which is why Jay told her her singing stinks and took her for lunch. Gloria was furious, and Jay saying that was the only flaw she had didn't help. But since they agreed not to argue in front of the baby, she was going to make a list of all the things she was going to scream at him the minute the baby was out. (JAY: I didn't think it all the way through.)
Oh, the baseball game? Phil and Mitchell were both trying to make up for a bad night. Given Mitchell had to sleep in Lily's (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) room, he insisted he get some of the flowers Phil got for Claire. They were ready to go at it again...until they saw how awesome the baseball field looked. (Even an full-sized $15,000 scoreboard?) When they saw what a great job Claire and Cameron did, they relented on flipping the house. But Jay heard about them going into business together and said it was a horrible idea. They didn't know anything about construction, they would turn on each other, and suddenly Jay has to go to more dinner separately because they couldn't get along. That put enough doubt in their heads where they don't want to jeopardize the family over an investment. That is until Phil's rival in the real estate business made an offer on the house. Well, they couldn't let that happen. And they were in business together.
JAY: Sometimes I don't understand people. They do the craziest things for the dumbest reasons. They convince themselves it will all work out, despite all the evidence to the contrary. (Like Gloria running out and singing the anthem.) Which I guess isn't so bad. (to the baby) All I'm saying is I hope to God you don't get your mother's singing voice, but man I hope you get her self-confidence.
As for Manny, he got his The Natural (1984) moment. Well, he was being driven nuts by the advice everyone was giving him and he got hit by the pitch, which scored the winning run. Hopefully someday he'll run down to first base instead of third.
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