- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What kind of comics do the guys like?
- Stuart: Um... a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay, well who's the best superhero?
- Stuart: Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here! You trying to start a rumble?
- [last lines]
- GPS with Sheldon's Voice: Fun fact. President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act from his hospital room.
- Car Thief #1: Wow. That is interesting.
- Car Thief #2: You learn something new every day.
- GPS with Sheldon's Voice: Say, can you name the four state capitals that are not served by the Interstate system?
- Car Thief #1: Ooh, another quiz.
- [Penny, Amy & Bernadette have just entered the Comic Store]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Why are they staring?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Who cares? Just soak it in.
- [huskily, stroking her hair]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hello, boys.
- Stuart: Oh. Hey!
- [looks around at the customers]
- Stuart: Could we stop staring? They're just girls; nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
- Penny: [Referring to Amy and Bernadette's argument that if another superhero picks up Thor while he's picking up the hammer, then that superhero is picking up the hammer] Okay, wait. If I pick up a guy at a bar, and then he picks up another girl and we all leave together, did I pick up the girl?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Hopefully] Did that actually happen?
- Penny: [Avoiding the question] Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?
- [Mrs. Wolowitz is sending a rental car for Howard, Sheldon, Raj, and Leonard after their car gets stolen]
- Raj Koothrappali: Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise?
- [no one laughs]
- Raj Koothrappali: Get it? Enterprise.
- [still no one laughs]
- Raj Koothrappali: Screw you, that's funny.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [arguing with Penny and Bernadette about a comic book] It says right here on the hammer "Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Well, hold on. Who decides who's worthy? Does the hammer decide?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [simultaneously with Penny] No.
- Penny: Yes.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It can't decide. It's a hammer.
- Penny: You said it's a magic hammer.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Yeah, but it... it can't make decisions.
- Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay, if you're gonna start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.
- Stuart: Let's see. Well, you got your basic clean good guys, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, I do love a bad boy.
- Penny: As evidence by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.
- Officer Reynolds: [taking Leonard's police report] Do you need me to call anyone? I'm guessing your moms?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Thanks, we've got it covered.
- Howard Wolowitz: [entering] Okay, I just talked to my mom.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Amy, Bernadette, and Penny enter the comic store the guys often go to, and every male stops what they're doing and stares at them in shock]
- [Obviously uncomfortable]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Why are they staring?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Who cares? Just soak it in.
- [Then starts walking around, moving her hair from over her ear, then says the next line as if she were a 1940s girl talking to sailors]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hello boys.
- Stuart Bloom: [Comes out of the back room and sees the girls] Oh, hey.
- [Then notices all the guys looking at them]
- Stuart Bloom: Would you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.
- Penny: Hey Stuart.
- Stuart Bloom: Well, what brings you girls here?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.
- Stuart Bloom: Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.
- Penny: No, we were wondering why the guys like the stuff so much, so we thought we'd give it a try.
- Stuart Bloom: [as he speaks the next line, some of the customers start looking at the girls again] Oh ok, well what do you think you might be in to? Superheroes? Fantasy? Graphic novels? Manga?
- [Turns on the others without taking a breath]
- Stuart Bloom: I swear I will turn a hose on you!
- [They scatter]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What kind of comics do the guys like?
- Stuart Bloom: Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Alright, well who's the best superhero?
- Stuart Bloom: [Frantically] Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here? Are you trying to start a rumble?
- Penny: Well, what do you recommend?
- Stuart Bloom: Oh, well um, you got your basic clean-cut good guys, like Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America, then you got your darker "anti-heroes", like Batman, Wolverine, Punisher.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oooo, I do love a bad boy.
- Penny: [Matter-of-factly] As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.
- Stuart Bloom: [Presenting a comic] If I were you, I'd go for Fables #1. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
- Penny: [Distracted by another comic] Oooo, Thor! He's hot!
- Stuart Bloom: Yeah, he kind of is.
- [stranded in the hot desert with Leonard, Sheldon, and Raj]
- Howard Wolowitz: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch. He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelet and another person's having a sandwich.
- [first lines]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, uh, interesting. Do you recall this conversation? "Leonard, want to go halvesies on a steamer?" "No, Sheldon we don't need a steamer." Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.
- Penny: [Comes in] Hi, here are the makeup sponges you asked for.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, thanks. I thought I had more.
- Penny: [Looks in his makeup case, which he had just opened] Damn, you've got more makeup than I do. You got better makeup than I do.
- [Takes something]
- Penny: Yeah, I'm borrowing this.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Gently takes it back from her] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is my Comic-Con makeup. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest, got a terrible case of pinkeye. Yeah, but luckily I was going as a zombie; I won second place.
- Penny: I feel like you guys just went to Comic-Con.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That was San Diego Comic-Con; this is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
- Penny: Is that better?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Mm, it's a lot smaller. It's more about the comics books, the way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood.
- Sheldon Cooper: So to answer your question, no, it's not better.
- Penny: Well then why are you going?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's a comic book convention. Like pizza or particle accelerators even the stinky ones, still pretty good.
- Penny: Ah, the best! You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday you got a problem. You do it on a weekend you got brunch.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What if the Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Yeah?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Then by the transitive property of picking things up, Hulk picked up the hammer!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No, Hulk picked up Thor, *Thor* picked up the hammer.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You can't pick something up in outer space. In space, there is no up.
- Penny: Oh, yeah? Then how does the sun come up every day?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hard to argue with those kind of street smarts.
- Sheldon Cooper: What if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Look at us, Sheldon. We're the crazy people!
- Sheldon Cooper: Just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Alright.