- Claire Dunphy: To be honest, it would be more fun if Phil wasn't going to my college reunion. I mean, I'd have to explain who's who and all the inside jokes... And with all that information coming out, not enough alcohol is coming in.
- Cameron Tucker: I don't get it. We've been shooting for six hours, and all of a sudden she doesn't want to do it anymore.
- Mitchell Pritchett: I have a theory.
- Manny Delgado: [Lying on the floor] My life is a musicless grayscape.
- Jay Pritchett: I guess this is more than shopping can fix.
- Manny Delgado: [Gets up] Worth a shot.
- Jay Pritchett: Frazier had Ali, we have Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets. It's a stupid name, but they're great bowlers.
- Tater: I was wondering who was the lucky man who married the beautiful Claire Pritchett.
- Claire Dunphy: Luck had nothing to do with it. She saw, she liked, I got her pregnant, had to marry her.