The Almighty Johnsons (TV Series)

A Bit Like Buses Really (2013)

Dean O'Gorman: Anders Johnson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Axl Johnson : I need to know we are all on the same page about this.

  Anders Johnson : Is this the page where Mike has spun out and finally disappeared up his own arse, where he's quite enjoying the view?

  Axl Johnson : Yes.

  Anders Johnson : I'm on that page, yes.

• Anders Johnson : Don't treat me like I'm retarded.

  Axl Johnson : No, I'm treating you like someone who is easily distracted.

  Anders Johnson : That's just as bad. I mean, it's possibly worse. It's like saying I'm ADH... HD... HD.

  Axl Johnson : No, except for the tiny part of you that lives in your pants.

  Anders Johnson : Hey, the use of the word "tiny" right there, that's just cruel. If it comes down to a vote for who's the real Odin, I'll remember that.

  Axl Johnson : Just go.

  Anders Johnson : Yes, new Dad.

• Anders Johnson : Were't you considerably less clothed last time I saw you?

  Michele Brock : It's called bait, Anders. It's what you use to reel in a dumb animal.

  Anders Johnson : I think of it as false advertising.

  Michele Brock : Don't worry, you're still the top of my list.

  Anders Johnson : Your "people I must annoy today" list?

  Michele Brock : My revenge fuck list. I believe it's traditional, in the situation I now find myself, as the scorned woman, to fuck a friend or sibling to get back at the prick who dumped me. Given that Mike has no friends, that leaves the three of you, and I've already done Axl and have no need to go back, and Ty has a girlfriend and morality, so too much hard work, so that leaves you.

  Anders Johnson : Oh, well, glad I passed your stringent criteria.

  Michele Brock : Not really. You want it too much and Mike would totally expect it, which takes all the revenge out of it, and that's the fun bit.

• Anders Johnson : What do you want, Michele, apart from making my penis want to crawl inside my body and never come out?

  Michele Brock : And wouldn't that be doing the world a service?

• Anders Johnson : Peas in a pod, us, but you know that.

  Michele Brock : Silly me for thinking I might be better than that.

  Anders Johnson : Can you stop that, please. I will not have self-pity in this bed. It's unattractive and makes me question my performance.