- Axl Johnson: Why is it all of a sudden Michele's stick? My mum sent my brother to go and get it. If anything, it's more my stick than it is her stick.
- Ingrid: Yeah, well, you try telling Michele that.
- Zeb: True. She'll cut your nuts off and then not heal you afterwards, 'cause she's evil like that.
- Axl Johnson: You're lucky you're my brother's girlfriend or I'd just smite you - or I just wouldn't give you this free pizza.
- Dawn: [dosed by Olaf's cookies] What were we talking about?
- Olaf Johnson: How you have a sneaky thing for rap music
- Dawn: Yes, I haven't told Ty yet. Do you think he'll like me less when he catches me doing the housework to Ice Cube?
- Olaf Johnson: There's someone called Ice Cube?
- Dawn: Yeah.
- Olaf Johnson: And you live with Hod.
- [laughs]
- Anders Johnson: Okay, babe, but it all falls to shit, you can cry on my shoulder - or my penis. Either way, it's fine.
- Ingrid: When you're searching for a Frigg, you end up kissing a lot of frogs.
- Axl Johnson: Unless there's a way to shortcut around the frogs. Showtime, Ingrid.
- Mike Johnson: So, what is it that it DOESN'T look like, Anders?
- Anders Johnson: That I'm screwing your girlfriend, which I'm not.
- Mike Johnson: I know.
- Anders Johnson: Really? How? Seems entirely plausible that I could be.
- Mike Johnson: Because I trust her and she has taste.
- Ty Johnson: Where's Dawn?
- Olaf Johnson: Emotionally, psychologically or physically?
- Ty Johnson: Um, all of the above.
- Axl Johnson: You are not him.
- Mike Johnson: Who?
- Axl Johnson: Odin. I know you think you are, Mike. I've seen inside your head, but you are not him. I am - and if you want to come after me, I'm ready.