- Adam Freeman: [volunteering at the school blood drive] Oh, give blood today! It will save a life tomorrow!
- Watch Waverly: Which could be your own, because we live in Spooksville!
- Sally Wilcox: Don't make us come after you!
- Sally Wilcox: Ms. Clench is so opinionated and bossy. No one wants to be around that for more than two seconds.
- [Watch and Adam, amused at the irony, smile knowingly to each other]
- [Vampire Scaredy lunges at Sally]
- Adam Freeman: Scaredy, what are you doing?
- Stanley 'Scaredy' Katzman: Gonna make Sally one of my three vampire brides, of course.
- Watch Waverly: Of course.
- Sally Wilcox: [thumbing at one of two mesmerized cheerleaders] One of these? Are you crazy?
- Stanley 'Scaredy' Katzman: Hey, don't worry. You're gonna be the leader of the other two.
- Adam Freeman: Of COURSE there's vampires here. Why wouldn't there be? And what do you guys do in the monster-iest place on Earth? You have a blood drive, and you put the blood into a cart and have it for a school dance. You know, why don't you just ring the vampire dinner bell?
- Watch Waverly: You know, when you say it out loud, it does kind of sound like pretty poor planning.
- Sally Wilcox: They're just regular vampires.
- Adam Freeman: Well, if they're so regular, how can Scaredy be out? It's daylight.
- Watch Waverly: Ohh. He thinks sunlight hurts vampires. Completely false. Vampires were actually the ones that started that rumor. Fun little fact: most vamp attacks occur at the beach.
- Watch Waverly: [taking a wooden stake from his locker] I was in the Springville Vulture Scouts. Our motto was "Embrace the Horror." Ca-caw!
- Sally Wilcox: Are you kidding me? Why can't I get cool, dangerous-looking fangs like all the other vampires? Ugh. I look like Bucky the Beaver's little sister. Can't even open a soda can with these pathetic little baby fangs.
- Watch Waverly: What's wrong?
- Sally Wilcox: [nauseated] I smell everything, and you guys stink! Oh, your sweat! Adam, your socks - burn them! Watch? What is that unbearably fruity shampoo?
- Watch Waverly: [looking to Adam] I don't condition I get split ends.
- Adam Freeman: I'm so not going to prom with you if you bite me with those stubby little fangs.
- Sally Wilcox: [angrily] I thought you said they were fine! Oh, you are so getting bitten now.
- Adam Freeman: You're so big on rules, I'm sure there's a rule against a vampire making kids into undead minions.
- (Mrs) Principal Blackwater: It takes years of training to be a hunter.
- Adam Freeman: Well, I need the five-minute version, because the dance starts in ten.
- Ms. Clench: Stop your struggling and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise - and a cookie after.