- Dean Winchester: But when you get down to it, what's the big deal? Sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body. The two of us moving together, pressing, pulling, grinding, and then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds, builds and builds until it all just...
- [Makes explosion noise]
- Dean Winchester: ... But the whole thing was just a little too sticky.
- Suzy Lee: Sam. What brought you here to reclaim your virginity?
- Sam Winchester: Well. I guess it's because every- woman I've- ever- had relations with, uh, it- hasn't- ended well.
- Dean Winchester: [big grin] He ain't lyin'.
- [chuckles]
- Suzy Lee: You're not like... the other guys in town, are you? You're kind of a... bad boy.
- Dean Winchester: I don't know. Why don't you ask me that in Spanish?
- Suzy Lee: ¿Eres un chico malo?
- Dean Winchester: Si.
- Sam Winchester: Heading out?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Yeah. I'd tell you boys to stay out of trouble, but what's the point?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: You sure Dean was here?
- Sam Winchester: [Holds up "Casa Erotica" DVD] Oh, yeah. And I think he crossed someone off his bucket list.
- Dean Winchester: Has anybody talked to the victims' families?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Next on my list.
- Dean Winchester: You said that they were all part of the same church?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Mm-hmm.
- Dean Winchester: Ready to get your worship on?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: I'm sort of new to this, but, you know, a Roman deity burying people alive in a barn? Sort of pathetic, don't you think?
- Vesta: It only got pathetic when I started having to do it myself. Because of that hippie from Bethlehem. Before him, they practically threw virgins at me. And now-...
- Sheriff Jody Mills: They let your fire go out. They forgot about you. Yeah, I know. Sucks to be Lindsay Lohan, doesn't it?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Her mom said she heard Barb and her fiancé in Barb's bedroom.
- Sam Winchester: Going at it?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Well, she said she heard "sex noises", then Barb crying, then Neil telling Barb it didn't count because it was under 30 seconds.
- Vesta: They used to beg to stay pure for me. And now I have to drag them kicking and screaming. And they're not even *real* virgins! They're born-again! You want to talk about pathetic?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Yeah. You're a real charity case.
- Sam Winchester: Okay, we don't have time for this.
- Tammy: I don't have time for devil worshippers! I'm calling the cops.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: I am the cops!
- [Punches her]
- Tammy: What the fudge, lady?
- Sam Winchester: "Purity pledge"?
- Bonnie Fuschau: It's a commitment to your virginity.
- Dean Winchester: [Gives Sam a look] I don't think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?
- Bonnie Fuschau: Oh. I see. Well... If you just ask for God's forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then, you'll be born again as a virgin in his eyes.
- Dean Winchester: So, you just hit the "virginity do-over" button, and all is good with the man upstairs?
- Bonnie Fuschau: [Sternly] It's not a button. And this isn't just a piece of paper. I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage.
- Dean Winchester: Well, you had me at "clean slate"" Let's do this.
- [Him and Sam sign papers]
- Bonnie Fuschau: [Takes them smiling] Congratulations, Sam and Dean Winchester. You are both virgins.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Oak stained in virgin blood. Where are we gonna get a virgin?
- Sam Winchester: [Remembers pledge] I'm a virgin!
- Sheriff Jody Mills: [Smiles] I think we need the real McCoy here, Sam.
- Sam Winchester: Maybe angels harvesting vessels? Could be a Buddy Boyle type thing.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Wh-- angels? You're joking.
- Dean Winchester: Don't get your pants on fire. They suck.
- Sam Winchester: Did you get---?
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Born again?
- Sam Winchester: Yeah.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: Oh, Sam. I don't make promises I can't keep.
- Sam Winchester: It's taking virgins who break their chastity vow. So dragons are off the list.
- Sheriff Jody Mills: I'm sorry-- dragons? Those are a thing?
- Sam Winchester: Yeah. Too many things are things.
- Dean Winchester: Nobody in Hartford knows?
- Suzy Lee: Yeah, what am I supposed to say? "Oh, yeah, hey, I used to be a porn star. Let's pray"?
- Dean Winchester: Well... They do not appreciate you. I mean, the things you can do... the scene with the tacos.
- Sam Winchester: I couldn't help but think of those who weren't here.
- Bonnie Fuschau: Oh. Honor. She's my favorite.
- Tammy: [Overhears, is super offended] Ack!
- [after Bonnie leaves, she walks up to Sam]
- Tammy: Her favorite? She has no idea what kind of girl Honor is.
- Sam Winchester: You don't say.
- Dean Winchester: Guess who's taking the teacher home. "Research".
- Sam Winchester: You really think you're gonna hit that? Dean, she's the chastity counselor.
- Dean Winchester: [Smirks] Yeah, I know.