- Phil Coulson: I can't think of a single time when anything alien in human hands ended well.
- Skye: Wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.
- Phil Coulson: Sure, he's handsome, but...
- Melinda May: No, he's dreamy.
- Jemma Simmons: [narrating] In ancient times, people believe the heavens were filled with gods and monsters and magical worlds. Then, as time passed, those beliefs faded into myth and folklore. But now we know the stories are true. Other worlds, with names like Asgard, do exist. And beings once revered as gods, like Thor, have returned, leaving us with more questions... an enormous mess to clean up.
- Phil Coulson: He can't just disappear, he has to turn up some...
- [Sees car flip over]
- Phil Coulson: Where. There we go.
- Phil Coulson: You know, for once it'd be nice if, for once, Thor and his people would send down the god of Cleaning Up After Yourself. They probably have a magic broom for this sort of thing.
- Skye: You guys may think it's old news, but it's new... news to everybody else. So, Asgardians are aliens from another planet that visited us thousands years ago?
- Phil Coulson: Or more.
- Skye: And because we couldn't understand aliens, we thought they were gods?
- Phil Coulson: That's where our Norse mythology comes from.
- Skye: That's too crazy. Do you think other deities are aliens, too? Vishnu for sure, right?
- Phil Coulson: You know, it'd be nice, for once, Thor and his people sent down the God of Cleaning Up After Yourself. They probably have a magic broom for this kind of thing.
- Skye: I mean, this guy has lived through all the scary stuff - the Crusades, the Black Death, disco.
- Professor Elliot Randolph: [Looking at a Medieval image of himself] Well, the nose isn't quite right.
- Leo Fitz: That's you?
- Professor Elliot Randolph: Yup, they venerated me a bit as a saint.
- Grant Ward: They're idiots.
- Phil Coulson: Do you know Thor?
- Professor Elliot Randolph: Oh, sure, spent all my days palling around with the future Prince of Asgard. No, I don't know Thor. I was a mason.
- Professor Elliot Randolph: Am I dead?
- Phil Coulson: Apparently not.
- Professor Elliot Randolph: [to Jemma] You are easily the most beautiful thing I've seen in a thousand years.
- Grant Ward: Don't say I never gave you anything.
- Leo Fitz: Checking for alien spectrographic signatures one teeny rock at a time.
- Grant Ward: Necessary precaution. We don't want anything alien getting in the wrong hands.
- Leo Fitz: Still, this is definitely the type of work for a monkey could easily do.
- Grant Ward: You are our little monkey.
- Grant Ward: The markings?
- Phil Coulson: Asgardian symbolism; hard to translate with our limited knowledge.
- Skye: You should give your buddy the God of Thunder a shout. He gets his power from his hammer right? What if this his "nail" to the hammer?
- Phil Coulson: I already did. Director Fury told me he's off the gird; and if he has a cellphone, we don't have the number.
- Jemma Simmons: Coulson ordered me to give you a full work up, so that's exactly what I'm doing. Now, um, before you passed out, were you feeling... claustrophobic ?
- Grant Ward: Why?
- Leo Fitz: She's ruling out a panic attack.
- Grant Ward: [Slightly irritated] I don't panic. Ever.
- Jemma Simmons: There we go, ruled out.
- Phil Coulson: How you doing, Agent Ward?
- Grant Ward: Wishing I was shorter. Nothing yet. All my readings are normal.
- Phil Coulson: What about you, Skye? Any luck?
- Skye: I'm lucky my s.o. volunteered to take the super-creepy hallway instead of the slightly less-creepy dungeon-room place.
- Phil Coulson: Do you know there's a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?
- Grant Ward: I did not.
- Phil Coulson: You know what's not on Mount Thor? Anything Asgardian at all. Our agents haven't found a thing.
- Professor Elliot Randolph: It was just a chance to uncover something the gods brought down from the heavens.
- Phil Coulson: Aliens brought it. From space.
- Melinda May: I'm fine. You...
- Grant Ward: I'm working it out.
- Melinda May: You're punching things. The last thing you need is to punch things.
- Professor Elliot Randolph: One must adapt. Recent events have thrown us all for a loop. I thought I was teaching Norse mythology but no. Turns out I'm a history professor.
- Elena: So... you're not going to change my grade?
- Professor Elliot Randolph: No.