- At a local fair, Phil tries to surprise Claire with an anniversary gift, Jay works as a "police officer," Manny enters a cake baking contest, Luke confronts a crush, and Cameron tries to rally the football team.
- Haley (Sarah Hyland), Alex (Ariel Winter), and Luke (Nolan Gould) want to bring Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) breakfast in bed for their 20th Anniversary. Fortunately, they made their presence known so they wouldn't catch their parents in the act. Not to worry, Phil wasn't "winning" anything. In fact, each of them had a surefire present for the other. At the school fair, Phil was going to perform a song with the Dad Beats for her. Not an original song, thanks to Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) and Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) correctly vetoing that idea. Jay (Ed O'Neill) and Gloria (Sofía Vergara) were going as well, and Manny (Rico Rodriguez) was going to enter the cake-baking contest. Much to Jay's chagrin, of course. Gloria and Manny went to get the cake entered while Jay fought with a guy who was trying to take his parking spot. Meanwhile, Cameron was upset because his football team hadn't won any games and the dad of their best running back was going to take him off the team because the line couldn't block for him. Cam was all stressed out (CAMERON: That's the worst call since they cast Russell Crowe in Les Misérables (2012)!) despite Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) trying to tell him that it's only freshman football. That didn't work; Cameron gathered the entire team at the fair to put the fear of God into them.
At Jay and Gloria's house, Haley was going to enjoy a relaxing day of laying out by the pool and drinking Jay's beer, only the nanny caught her. He was going to call Jay on her, and she tried to use her bikini to convince him otherwise. However, Andy claimed he had a girlfriend in the Coast Guard. Stationed in Utah. Of course, when he tried to pick up the second broken beer bottle Haley dropped when he scared her, then the sight of his own blood was a bit of a problem. Thankfully, Haley didn't hold a grudge and Andy didn't rat on her.
At the fair, Alex decided to be nice to Luke and help him out with his problem of how to talk to a girl he had a big crush on. She agreed, thinking it would be a good way to get in with Sienna, a new girl in school who could be Alex's ticket to being popular. (ALEX: I have to cement the friendship before she finds out we have a cafeteria.) Just one little problem: Sienna is the one Luke had a crush on.
As some of Manny's classmates laugh at him for baking the cake, Jay wants him to give it up, despite Manny's insistence cooks get girls. (JAY: Cooks get the girls. Bakers ARE girls. Betty Crocker, Mrs. Fields, Little Debbie...) But Gloria sends him off to volunteer as "jail cop," where Jay has to bring in people that others pay to get thrown in the fair jail for a while. His first collar was Claire. Phil set that up to insure Claire would stay to hear him sing. She was arrested for (JAY: I can't read this) unlawful sexiness and possession of a hot booty. So Jay's partner had to read it. Oh, his "partner" was the same guy who took his parking spot, so Jay was in a REALLY good mood at that point. In fact, this worked so well, Luke had Alex arrested just so he could be alone with Sierra. As Claire hatched a plan for the two of them to escape jail, Alex opened the fake lock on the jail and walked out. Meanwhile, Luke was confessing to Sienna he had never kissed a girl before, and Sienna was going to demonstrate how it worked. Alex stopped her just in time and told Sienna that Luke had a crush on her. Luke then said Alex was using Sienna to upgrade her social status. Sienna decided to distance herself from both of them.
Claire was mad as hell and was looking for any excuse to leave the fair. Having disappointed Phil with many anniversary gifts in the past, she thought she had a great one for their 20th. However, it was time for Phil to go on stage. And the Dad Beats introduce...Harold Grossman. And given how amazing Harold sang Foreigner's I Want To Know What Love Is, there was no way Phil could follow it. He begrudgingly went home. But at least Claire could give him a wonderful anniversary present. Since china was the traditional gift of the 20th anniversary, Claire figured plates weren't going to work, so she hired some Chinese acrobats to perform for them. Phil absolutely loved it.
While Jay dealt with his partner losing his expensive shirt to a cherry slushie (and recreating every cop death scene in a movie we've ever seen), Gloria got worried about Manny being picked on by the other boys. She sabotages his cake. He thinks one of the other grandmothers did it, but he redesigned it just in time and was going to get his payback. Gloria finally fessed up, admitting she didn't like seeing Manny being picked on. But Manny knew about being picked on; he just happened to be talented at things that didn't lead to popularity. Gloria told him to enter the cake, but they weren't going to have enough time to get it there. Then Manny managed to push his way through the entire crowd. Which Cameron witnessed. And not only did Manny win the cake contest, he helped Cam's football team win their first game.
And Jay kept the cop hat and badge, deciding that Gloria needed to be frisked.
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