- Dr. Spencer Reid: Why does it have to be such a fast mile? Have you ever even had to run a mile in the field?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: No.
- Penelope Garcia: I'm not even in the field. I sit at a computer on my perfect posterior, like all day.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe we should ask Morgan for help.
- Penelope Garcia: No.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: But he has really good abs...
- Penelope Garcia: Yes, he does. But it's bad enough some bureaucrat is making us take this stupid test. The last thing we need is Mr. Universe talking smack the whole time.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: But he knows about all this stuff. He can probably, like. Teach us some tricks, help us train.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: You work out? That's cool. I don't.
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah. In a non-traditional manner and never again with him. He was all, "there you go, baby girl. Move it or lose it". "This ain't your high-tech room. My grandmama can move better than that".
- Penelope Garcia: [about Morgan] I'm gonna kill him!
- Dr. Spencer Reid: If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: We got a case?
- Penelope Garcia: Yep.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Thank God.
- Penelope Garcia: Race you to the bleachers. We don't need him!
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Ok. I'm just gonna have a heart attack real quick.
- Derek Morgan: [closing quote] "Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil" - Baltasar Gracian
- Dr. Spencer Reid: [opening quote] "It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease, than to know what sort of disease a person has" - Hippocrates
- Derek Morgan: What's with you? Are you okay?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, I'm great; I am just doing some stretching because it helps me keep my brain limber.
- Derek Morgan: It tooks us almost two hours to get out to here
- Jennifer Jareau: That's with you driving too!
- Dr. Spencer Reid: You think they'll really terminate us if we can't run fast enough?
- Penelope Garcia: Probably something worse. They'll probably make us take another fit test.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: I'd rather be terminated.
- Penelope Garcia: I just hope the PT instructor isn't a jerk. Those jock guys are always such jerks.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, total jerks. That's probably him right now.
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, look, he's totally walking like a jerk.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, it's a total jerk walk.
- Penelope Garcia: Total jerk walk.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Wait a minute. Wait, I think it's Morgan... Yeah.
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God, it is. Why are you here?
- Derek Morgan: It looks like I'm your new PT instructor. Watkins got sick. So, today's your lucky day. I'm your guy. Ha-ha.
- Penelope Garcia: Awesome. That's awesome.
- Jennifer Jareau: You guys ready to get out of here?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Yes please! I can't stand hospitals, it's something about the lighting!
- Derek Morgan: What'd you got, Sweetness?
- Penelope Garcia: Mama's hands are dirty, 'cause she's been digging
- David Rossi: Could be a form of torture, maybe a biting fetish?
- Dr. Weinstein: Didn't know there was such a thing
- David Rossi: Oh, you'll be surprised!
- Jennifer Jareau: [entering the dirty living room of the possible unsub] I think it safe to say this guy's single and not in a relationship
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, God. Okay.
- Derek Morgan: You okay?
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah, why?
- Derek Morgan: 'Cause you got a little gimp in your giddy-up.
- Penelope Garcia: It's these shoes. Beauty knows no pain.
- Derek Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
- [sniffs several times]
- Penelope Garcia: What are you doing?
- Derek Morgan: Do I smell BENGAY?
- Penelope Garcia: Maybe. I had an active evening with Sam.
- Derek Morgan: Guys, guys, come on. Seriously. You should have just said something. This whole fit test thing is just a formality. I could've got the whole thing waived... But since you didn't, you ready to do this?
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah, let's do this!
- [Garcia and Reid start running]
- Penelope Garcia: Wow! Wow!
- Derek Morgan: Hey, hey, hey. Happy-go-luckys, where are you going?
- Penelope Garcia: To run a mile.
- Derek Morgan: No, no, no. You didn't hear? The fit test is more than just a mile. Get your little butts back over here.
- [to Garcia and Reid doing push-ups]
- Derek Morgan: Come on, let's go, all the way down, all the way up.
- [to Garcia and Reid doing sideways jumps]
- Derek Morgan: Come on! My grandmamma can do way better than that.
- [to Garcia and Reid doing chin-ups]
- Derek Morgan: Let's go! This is not your high-tech room.
- [to Garcia and Reid skipping rope]
- Derek Morgan: On our toes, right on your toes. There you go, baby girl, that's sweet.
- [to Garcia and Reid doing stepping exercise]
- Derek Morgan: Go, girl, you know it. Turn around, right back down.
- [to Garcia and Reid lying down]
- Derek Morgan: Hey, hey, hey. What are we doing? What's all this huffin' and puffin'? Come on, we still got a two mile run to go. Let's go!
- Penelope Garcia: Two miles?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: It's supposed to be one mile.
- Derek Morgan: No, no, no. Not my watch. This whole fit test is altogether different. Now suck it up!
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, my God.
- Derek Morgan: Let's go!... All right, all right, all right. Enough is enough. I guess I got to let the cat out of the bag. I kind of already had your fit test waived.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: What?
- Derek Morgan: Yeah. Baby girl, think about it. You're not even in the field. And Pretty Ricky, you already got enough case hours to qualify. This was just a good time for me.
- Penelope Garcia: I'm gonna kill him.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.
- Penelope Garcia: I'm regaining my strength.
- Derek Morgan: I told you, you should have said something. I said... Hey... Hey...
- Penelope Garcia: You're getting it now!
- Dr. Weinstein: We found several...
- Dr. Spencer Reid: [browsing through thick report] Total of eleven?
- Dr. Weinstein: You read fast!
- Derek Morgan: Give it to me, doll face.
- Penelope Garcia: Do you know that over 50,000 people die of rabies every year in third world countries? Thank God for Monsieur Pasteur, otherwise we'd all be dead. Okay, so I looked into every known case of rabies exposure in the country over the last 20 years.
- Derek Morgan: Did you find anything?
- Penelope Garcia: Cool your jets, hot chocolate. I will let you know if I've got something. So, I've got something.
- Officer Kowalski: A 911 call just came in. Some woman who's apparently foaming at the mouth is attacking people in a coffee shop.
- [Rossi looks at the extra-foam coffee cup in his hand and places it on the table with a disgusted look]
- Penelope Garcia: I got the 4-1-1 on our first victim, Melvin Lewis. Originally from The Malibu of the Midwest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Melvin moved to Milwaukee 12 years ago when wifey ran away with his best friend.
- David Rossi: Ouch.
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Luckily, they had no kids. No criminal record. Like super squeaky clean. Not even a parking ticket. He joined Facebook a year ago. He has a whopping six friends, all from work.
- Derek Morgan: He drives a truck, right?
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah. A milk truck, to be exact. But only did that for a month. Before, he worked for 10 years at an animal control center, but he was laid off due to budget cuts.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: What exactly did he do, Garcia?
- Penelope Garcia: He was a dogcatcher. But like a SWAT team of dogcatchers. He specialized in dangerous and trapped animals, including, but not limited to skunks, a raccoon, and one time a giant python.
- Derek Morgan: All right, thanks, babe.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: That could be it.
- Derek Morgan: What? The python?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: No, bite marks. Of course. That could be how he was doing it. That's why it was undetectable. Brain tissue, we need to look at brain tissue...
- Derek Morgan: Okay, Reid.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry. I don't think this is a biting fetish or cannibalism. I think it's a virus, and the biting is merely a means of transmission.
- Derek Morgan: What kind of virus?
- Dr. Spencer Reid: There are several possibilities. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, tick-borne encephalitis, but the most likely culprit is rabies, and that wouldn't show up in an autopsy, except in brain tissue.
- David Rossi: So, since Lewis was the only victim not bitten by a human, the UnSub must have used an animal to infect him first.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: And after that, he somehow facilitated human to human transmission.
- Derek Morgan: It would explain the random victimology. It doesn't matter who he infects. All he needs is a host.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: Which also means the holding period isn't about torture, it's about incubation.
- David Rossi: I was attacked by a rabid for once. Shot the thing three times before it went down. Freakin' terrifying. It was like a horror movie.
- Dr. Spencer Reid: We need to have the M.E. test for rabies vectors in the brain samples.
- Derek Morgan: And then we need to deliver the profile.