Tooken (2015) Poster

(I) (2015)

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4/10
For those wondering what Taken would be with abundance of sexual innuendo and dick jokes. Mildly entertaining if taken with a grain of salt.
quincytheodore27 May 2015
For a spoof they have gotten Liam Neeson's accent down, pretty good impersonator of Famke Janssen and also a heavily sexualized version of the daughter character. Much of the humors revolve around penis joke while the production has heavy resemblance with sleazy music video. Not all of them are misfire, there's some degree of slight entertainment, mainly because the original material from Taken was already a bit far-fetched, so the movie predictably plays it to their advantage.

Story replicates Taken franchise and recent works of Liam Neeson. It includes a few stereotypical characters, which are awkwardly shoehorned for dirty jokes. The lead does have peculiar accent which forcefully reminds audiences of Liam Neeson. Casting department at least delivers a good Famke Janssen lookalike for good measure. Others are typical extra for bad guys and eye-catching attractive girls.

Practically any girl character is exposed to some type of corny dirty puns or outright crude gag concerning indecent act. However, the massive bulk of the joke is on Neeson's double. There are a few good ones which have just enough self-deprecation to be amusing. Others are expected brash moments of spoof movie which are inelegant, cringe-worthy and a few freakish practical effects. These things have fifty-fifty chance to entertain depend on your expectation and tolerance.

It's all sort of juvenile and gross content one might expect from spoof, but at least it capitalizes on its intended sources for a few chuckles.
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3/10
Just like the Taken movies, a missed opportunity
TdSmth531 January 2016
Bryan Millers is a former CIA agent, now a security guard at a pet store. He still is in love with is ex-wife Lenore who by now is involved with a black former porn actor. Bryan has a teenage daughter who's eager to lose her virginity, something he's not about to let happen. He's also interested in trying the latest ED medication, even though as far as we can tell, he doesn't have a woman.

One night at work he sees a bunch of Albanians loading explosives. He confronts them and next day he walks up to the pet store HQ to again confront the gangsters. We learn that behind them is some sinister figure.

It takes a while but eventually Bryan, his mom--also a former CIA agent, and Lenore get "taken". We learn more about the sinister boss and what he's up to. In the meantime the daughter and Lenore's guy will have to rescue them and Bryan will have to confront the bad guy.

The Taken franchise, and for that matter all Liam Neeson movies, are ideal material for a parody. And initially it looks like Tooken will to just that. This Bryan endlessly brags about his special skills but just like the other Bryan rarely displays the alleged skills. For some reason, Mills' lame friends don't make an appearance here.

Unfortunately, Tooken instead of being a "serious" parody quickly descends into adolescent territory with countless gross moments, that wouldn't be funny even to teenagers. I counted four instances that made me chuckle but there wasn't any particularly funny scene or line. Tooken could have ridiculed the over the top violence, Mills' absurd obsession with his ex, the annoying daughter. But it doesn't. It comes across more like a really poor comedy that was quickly adapted into a Taken scenario.
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5/10
Very low on action, other than that OK.
Finfrosk8615 June 2015
Wow, this movie is uneven.. There is some quite good writing mixed with, and hidden behind, dumb jokes. In one moment it can be genuinely funny, then the next is not funny at all. But it's general it's not really that bad. Some parts are kind of clever, just a shame it's not more consistent.

The guy sounds like Liam Neeson playing Bryan Mills. He doesn't look much like him. The woman however looks kind of like Famke Jansson playing the wife. It's not much to say about the acting, it's OK.

Unfortunately there is little to no action here. Not much gun-play, not much fighting. I really wish they would have had some more action, it being a spoof of Taken (an excellent action movie btw), but no.

Would be excellent to parody the action of Taken, with one guy killing a whole army, but we get no such thing. That's a shame!

Like I said, there are some good parts, but there are some unfunny, sucky parts. I have seen a lot worse, though!
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2/10
Terrible spoof of the Taken franchise
STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday Morning

In this send up of the Taken films, the middle aged Irish hero has come down in the world from working for the CIA, and everything around him, from his ex-wife to his daughter's cherry, seems to be going away. But when some Albanian gangsters hatch a plot to put explosive devices in the local puppies, including his beloved own, he's pushed too far and swears to bring them down.

If I had been a bigger fan of the Taken franchise this ultra low budget misfire is sending up, I might have been able to relate to it a little better, and enjoyed it maybe a little more, but that's a big gamble. It begs the retrospective question, if the script had such potential in the first place, why a bigger studio didn't snap it up? It pulls out all the gross out, juvenile stops it can, but I've never seen anything so unfunny in quite a while, with an incoherent, messy plot that makes it even harder to endure. If the script had been better written, and some better finance had been behind it, it could have been on to something, but as it is, it's just hopeless. Even the title is pants. *
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1/10
Should've been called "Sucks," because it does.
chrismackey197226 May 2015
They could've done a funny movie. Let's face it, each sequel to Taken became more and more of a spoof of itself, so this movie wasn't necessary. With that said. This movie sucked.

I do not recommend. I gave this a 1-star rating, and it's not a solid one-star. More like 1/10 of 1-star. Yes, folks, it was that bad. Do not watch this expecting a funny take on the Taken series. If you want a good spoof on a movie, "The Three Musketeers" with Kiefer Sutherland was good. "Hot Shots, Part Deux" was fun. "Tooken" sucks so much, it puts porn stars to shame. Again, yes, it was that bad. If you watch this, don't say you weren't warned.
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1/10
This movie didn't need to be made.
Java_Joe2 December 2018
We didn't need a sequel to "Taken". It was a fine movie on it's own and one that cemented Liam Neeson as a bona fide action movie star. And since it made money we got a couple sequels that weren't necessary and they weren't as good. But you know what we really didn't need? A spoof of said movie.

Where do I even begin? They literally reference the classic phone call scene at the start of the movie. But in context it doesn't even make any sense. Our hero is in the delivery room, his wife is giving birth and the doctor passes out. Just like that. I guess this is supposed to be funny? And our hero is now supposed to delver the baby. So he threatens it, by giving a truncated version of the phone call speech. Is this supposed to be comedy?

As the story goes on he's lousy when it comes to things being taken, or maybe tooken in this case, around him from his ex-wife leaving to his daughter's virginity. And then, for no reason, gangsters from Albania decide to stick explosives into puppies. Why? I guess they're supposed to be evil or something? And since his puppy has also been explosiveized, he's pushed too far and does something about it.

There was no reason for this movie to be made. Absolutely none. It's not funny. It's not well done. And it totally bombed at the box office showing that parody and spoofs really need a deft hand to make them work.
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1/10
My honest thoughts.
nogu-0634612 March 2020
Film class should show this movie as how to not make a spoof, satire or comedy.
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5/10
Better than expected
Floated220 September 2021
For a spoof movie there should be little to expect. Spoofing the Taken series is something which surprisingly took a while to be made (Tooken was released after Taken 3- so they waited until the Taken franchise was complete). With the instant success of the first Taken film, one would have expected a spoof film have been made immediately.

This film is quite short in runtime which benefits it as they ensure it doesn't drag on. Some clever gags, the obvious and expected over the top humor, a lot more gross humor (dick jokes) than expected, cheap one liners and innuendoes.

The lead actor impersonating Liam Neeson does a great job, the wife has a resemblance to the Taken wife of Lenore and for some reason the daughter is more overly specialized here.

Don't expect anything great but in comparison to other spoof films such as Epic Movie or Disaster Movie, Tooken is a clear step above. Reason being, there is a consistency in plot and it doesn't seem like a bunch of random scenes sketched together. It has its moments, some things work while some fall flat. Which was expected.
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5/10
I have skills.
nogodnomasters17 April 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Bryan Millers (Lee Tergesen) is a former CIA agent who is now a mall cop. His ex-wife (Lauren Stamile) is looking to remarry a porn star named Money Maker (Reno Wilson) while his daughter (Laura-Leigh) attempts to lose her virginity. Meanwhile there are evil Albanians who are lead by Brown Finger (Margaret Cho).

The film is a near "Airplane" style spoof of Liam Neeson films, mostly the "Taken" series. The humor was on the predictable side, in this smile out loud production. The film copies the Woody Allen "Screw" scene from "Bananas."

Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity? Large fake male organ
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9/10
Enjoyable Spoof....Don't Listen to the Nasayers
Dark_Lord_Mark27 May 2015
My expectations were super low...SUPER LOW!!! I thought, okay spoofs suck! I saw this, I was bored but it was fine. It was better than fine it was...gulp GOOD! I loved it, dick jokes galore, sex jokes check! When is a dick joke not enjoyable? Do NOT..DO NOT listen to those prudes who think this is awful because all spoofs are awful now. IT is good.

It spoofs Taken 1 and 2....and is worth a try if you are a fan. THere are some lines from the movie that are changed...but still effective to convey a spoof meaning.

Fantastic stuff, good acting...the movie is offensive but never to the point where you will take it off. It is full of stereotypes and while barely any nudity, does have a couple of gross out moments. It is a movie for guys, with guys in mind. If you like Role Models, Sex Drive and even some Leslie Nelson stuff, this is fine.

I gave it a 9....my expectations were low and this exceeded them. Must watch imo.
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7/10
Probably one of the better spoofs
kuijiblob26 May 2015
Let me start by saying that I started hating spoof movies around the time epic movie and date movie came out. In fact the creators of those movies are making a spoof of Taken as well. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3749816/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1

It will likely be terrible but this movie is just a fun ride. There isn't as much toilet humor or gross out humor as I expected. Has some really funny jokes and creative ideas. Actually has a half decent budget and isn't filmed over a long weekend like a Seltzer spoof. This movie was already down voted before it even came out of the studio. I really don't think that's fair since everyone who gave this a 1 probably never even seen it. But then again that's IMDb for you. All in all I didn't bust a gut laughing, but at least I didn't pop a vessel in my head. Like one would do during an Aaron Seltzer movie.
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8/10
Plot twist at the end he should have sprayed BAD GUYS WITH GOO..
mikevonbach26 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
THIS FILM HAS MANY FUNNY MOMENTS ....But like i said at the start right at the end when he stuck his weapon threw the pet shop villein and the four henchman were standing behind him that's when he could have sprayed them all with hot sticky goo . the rest of this review has nothing to do with the film i just added a bunch of non-sense to fill up space because they insist on have ten or more lines.Michael Holt (Patrick Wilson) is a talented but self-absorbed surgeon at an upscale New York City clinic. He lives a comfortable and materialistic life due to the wealthy clients he treats, but is nevertheless discontented with his life and acts coldly to those around him. His life is thrown into disarray, however, when he is visited by the ghost of his ex-wife Anna Paul (Jennifer Ehle), who was recently killed in a car accident. Anna asks Michael to help keep running the free clinic she previously directed, which leads Michael to be exposed to poorer patients in need who are far different from his usual clientele. Michael's sister Christina (Julie Benz), a single mother struggling to care for her troubled teen aged son Milo (Liam Aiken), believes in the supernatural and is thrilled with the idea that Anna is back in Michael's life, as she insists he was a better person when she was around.[3][4]
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6/10
Better than the third one
demers-charles18 November 2015
I love to see all the negative reviews of people expecting a big budget movie.

Go into it expecting a low budget spoof, and this movie is awesome.

It's very creative, jokes are funny and not just low-class humor, and the story is pretty good for a spoof movie.

On a side note, voting 1 star because you dislike a movie (or 10 because you like it) only serves to skew the results.

It shows that IMDb is now ruled by fan boys and haters instead of actual reviewers.

This movie was much better than any recent spoofs. 6/10.
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10/10
Best spoof of Taken/ Liam Neeson movies!
hassankhan-4678422 April 2018
This movie was hilarious. Definitely worth a watch. Lee Tergeson did an amazing job. The parodies of Liam Neeson movies were piss-pants hilarious.
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7/10
good for its genre
Coralknight12 March 2016
As someone who grew up with the Airplane! and Naked Gun series, I have a soft-spot for these types of spoofs. At some point the Zuckers gave way to the Wayans and all subtlety in humor was erased in favor of shock-value and "in your face" crudeness. While "Tooken" certainly has bits and scenes you wouldn't want to watch around children, it also has very good writing and performances to give something for everyone. Lee Torgleson should be the next action hero (I hope he gets a lot of work after this) and Margaret Cho gets to do some character acting away from her usual stage persona. All in all, I'd say for a good night in of laughs with friends, Tooken is a good choice.
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6/10
Okay... for a spoof flick
Seth_Rogue_One25 July 2015
I'm not really a fan of spoof flicks in general, I hate it when they like with the cases of Scary Movie simply reenact various scenes that aren't hardly connected together and make them stupid and think that's gonna make a good movie (often spoiling movies carelessly in the process)

But this was actually fairly amusing and it does tell a fairly coherent story, even though of course it strays away from time to time, and it's not a complete rip off (even though yeah they do reference scenes from the Taken movies fairly often)

Not saying that this is a "good" movie, but it was amusing, a lot of sex jokes though, A LOT, but I didn't mind personally

Also I'd like to add that even though the movie looks star-studded based on the credits, all celebs like Ethan Suplee, Lukas Haas, Donnie Whalberg, Akon, Jenny McCarthy barely have 10 seconds cameos so yeah don't expect more than that from them

Lee Tergessen from HBO's OZ have the lead as 'Liam Neeson' and Maggie Cho plays a baddie, other than that and the occasional 10 second cameo the roles are played by unknowns... Some might recognize Reno Wilson from some TV-series but hardly a known name, but he's fun as 'Money Maker'
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7/10
Still better than Taken 2
Info-241-56232315 March 2016
Doesn't deserve such a low rating score - I've seen a lot lot worse ranked a lot lot higher.

Tooken is obviously a spoof based in Taken, and it's pretty funny in places - some places more than others for sure; but that's the nature of the genre (or so I believe). It's certainly one of those 'switch your brain off' before watching sort of movies; but it's definitely not worth the negative criticism it's received in many of the reviews.

It has that spoof movie feel to it - admittedly, not on the same level or power as the likes of Airplane etc... but it's pretty watchable once you realise it is what it is.

Being a fan of the original Taken, and totally hating Taken 2 (like many others); I liked a few of the links relating to them in this movie. If anything, there was maybe a slight overuse of the key telephone conversation from the original, but there you have it.

All-in-all Tooken is worth a watch if you've some time to kill. Yes, it's littered with mistakes; no, it doesn't have huge dramatic effects; but I found it OK to watch - and still enjoyed it better than the original Taken 2.

Overall: 6.7/10.
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7/10
Very dumb but couldn't help laughing
flemur1301310 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Like the titles says. Yes, there are too many dick jokes, but there were a few scenes were I couldn't stop laughing, which is rare nowadays. Those wacky Albanians! The main guy did a pretty good imitation of Liam's weird, hovering parental concern, although there weren't very many other references to the 'Taken' films...except for saying "taken" rather than "kidnapped" because it sounds goofy, like it did in the originals.
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6/10
surprisingly many conservative hater reviewers..
thatmanthatwatchyou11 March 2018
This much better than 3-4. Its a *spoof*. Dont expect anything else! There are lots of oneliners, lots of cheap laughs, an abundance of innuendos, and some other low-brow content. Lots! The 'plot' is a unholy mix of stalone bond and diehard flix, poured into a blender, and beaten to a pulp, seasoned with a nip of naughtiness. The Credits are hilarious -dont miss them! In summery - If you liked ScaryMovie, you will like this too!
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6/10
funny
mhmcintyre-744254 March 2022
Not what i expected, in fact it was better. Having said that i had some much needed laughs, sure it got a little thin near the end , and i was hoping it would end soon. But all in all.

Better than a lot of movies i have seen.
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