- [first lines]
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] I've lived my whole life on Normal Street. There's a quiet lake at one end and a forest of shady trees at the other - and somewhere in between, there's an old lady in an old house... sitting on top of ultimate doom.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] That's me, Gortimer Gibbon, and, yes, I'm covered in mud. It's everywhere - in my ears, under my eyelids, even in my underwear. That's my best friend, Ranger. Ranger and I have been friends for so long our mothers put us in the bath together.
- Ranger Bowen: Quit stalling.
- Gortimer Gibbon: I can't get my shoes off.
- Mel Fuller: They're already ruined.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] That's my other best friend, Mel. Her name's really Melody, but nobody calls her that.
- [Mel throws Gortimer a pair of swim goggles]
- Mel Fuller: Let's get this over with.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] If you all are wondering why I'm covered in mud, well, it all started with a broken watermelon and kind of spiraled out of control from there.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] It was the hottest day of the year for the third day in a row - and it was only nine in the morning.
- Ranger Bowen: Shouldn't summer be over by now? This isn't fair.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] It was so hot, instead of eating his Popsicle; Ranger applied it directly to his body.
- Ranger Bowen: It's not natural this heat. Something's not right, like maybe some sort of punishment.
- Mel Fuller: For what?
- Ranger Bowen: Chopping down the rainforests; abusing fossil fuels, reality TV shows - I don't know.
- Mel Fuller: Reality TV shows don't correlate with the seasonal changes in temperature.
- Gortimer Gibbon: Gardner, get inside.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] My brother was always trying to sneak things into my pockets when I wasn't looking.
- Gortimer Gibbon: No! Stop! Mom, Gardner's trying to give me something.
- Grace Gibbon: Oh, honey, it's just his way of saying, "Be my friend".
- Gortimer Gibbon: I think it's his way of saying I want to put dirt in your pocket.
- Gardner Gibbon: Pbbffft!
- Gortimer Gibbon: What's he saying now, "I love you?"
- Grace Gibbon: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to say it.
- Gortimer Gibbon: Mom...
- [discussing Ms. Hudspeth's blindness]
- Gortimer Gibbon: Was it an accident?
- Miss Hudspith: It was a frog - *The Frog* - and now he's come back for more.
- [sound of frog croaking]
- Miss Hudspith: He's come back. I hear it every hour of every day... and he's brought the heat with him! He means to roast us all.
- [holds out her fork-tipped spear to Gortimer]
- Gortimer Gibbon: Take it. If you ever want to feel a cool breeze again in your life, take it! He's in the crawl space beneath.
- Gortimer Gibbon: What am I supposed to do with it exactly?
- Miss Hudspith: Save us, Gortimer. Save us.
- [Gortimer squeezes into the cobweb-filled crawl space to confront the frog]
- Gortimer Gibbon: Spiders. Why did it have to be spiders?
- [Gortimer, Ranger and Mel watch Ms. Hudspith throw her ring into the wishing well]
- Miss Hudspith: Is that you?
- Gortimer Gibbon: It's me, Gortimer, Ms. Hudspith.
- Mel Fuller: And Mel.
- Ranger Bowen: And Ranger.
- Gortimer Gibbon: We thought we might find you here.
- Ranger Bowen: My mom made some brownies. We brought one for you... if you promise not to throw it away.
- Miss Hudspith: I-I was just waiting for an old friend.
- Mel Fuller: You got three.
- Gortimer Gibbon: [narrating] Now that the heat had finally left Normal Street, we could all get back to, well, normal.
- Gortimer Gibbon: It's said that the peculiar sounds that the machine makes when birthing an Arctic Sludgy are the laws of physics screaming in protest.