The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Maternal Combustion (2015)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

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Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist and woman of science. Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself while she's here?

  Mary Cooper : Are you ashamed of me?

  Sheldon Cooper : Of course not. I love you. I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.

  Mary Cooper : Well, I love you, too, my little bowl of lion chow.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Even with your mother here, you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom. You're like one of those elephant seal pups that steals the milk from two mothers!

  Sheldon Cooper : Do you mean what marine biologists refer to as "super weaning"?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yes, you are a super weaner!

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, now I have to correct you. As a bit of an elephant seal buff, the more accurate comparison would be when two mother seals actively seek to nourish the same pup. So I believe the term you're looking for is a double mother suckler

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, you're right. That is the term I'm looking for. You are a dirty double mother suckler!

  Sheldon Cooper : Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out, how dare you?

• Amy Farrah Fowler : It's so nice both of your moms are coming in to see you guys get an award.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, my mother's been there for every honor I've won since I beat out my twin sister for the Did It on the Potty trophy.

• Mary Cooper : Well, I would have to say when he was thirteen and he tried to build a nuclear reaction in the tool shed.

  Sheldon Cooper : Ooh, this is a good one.

  Mary Cooper : Now, the first thing you need to know about Shelly is, ever since he was a little boy, he was always concerned with the well-being of others. And he didn't think it was fair for people to pay for electricity, so he was gonna power the entire town for free.

  Sheldon Cooper : Tell her about the uranium! Tell her about the uranium!

  Mary Cooper : Oh, well. Well, this is adorable. When he arranged to get some yellow-cake from Chad, I thought he was talking about twinkies from one of his friends.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah. But I wasn't, because I didn't have any friends.

  Mary Cooper : No. It turns out this little scallywag was trying to use my Visa card to buy uranium from an African warlord in the country of Chad.

• Dr. Beverly Hofstadter : I'm terribly sorry that I upset your mother.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, it's all right. She'll forgive you. She has to or she goes to hell.

• Mary Cooper : Interesting. You can believe that, but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense.

  Sheldon Cooper : What did they feed the lions, Mother?

  Mary Cooper : The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : Sure, his mom gets roses. When I want them, they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."

  Sheldon Cooper : You act like I didn't get you that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : He's right. Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms for two or three magical years.