Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

Heavy Is the Head (2014)

Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil Coulson : Right now we have more important problems. A five-alarm fire otherwise known as Lance Hunter.

  Skye : Is he...

  Phil Coulson : Captured. But, if he talks, our entire operation is compromised. We'll have to burn the base and evacuate.

  [pause] 

  Phil Coulson : I know. And we just retiled the bathrooms.

• Raina : Let me be clear. Mr. Creel is working for Hydra. I am not.

  Phil Coulson : Why the breakup? Bad dental plan?

  Raina : Hydra only has one thing on their mind: World domination. Which is so 1945.

• Skye : You remember that encrypted Hydra frequency we shut down? Well, it's back up.

  Phil Coulson : Someone sent a message.

  Skye : A message for us with a phone number to call.

  Melinda May : Yeah, could be Creel.

  Antoine Triplett : Creel? A phone number? What, is he lonely?

  Skye : I doubt it. The guy is jacked. And he can turn any body part into any material.

  Phil Coulson : Okay. Thank you for that.

• Phil Coulson : Glenn. Can I... call you Glenn?

  Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : No. Where's Hunter?

  Phil Coulson : Watching Cake Boss, I believe.

• Phil Coulson : I felt bad for kidnapping you. So, I brought you a peace offering. Carl Creel.

  Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : I thought Creel was dead.

  Phil Coulson : He's turned to stone, but he could always do that, so I'm not sure how long it'll hold. I've got him in a cryo-stasis chamber in the back of the van for

  [checks his watch] 

  Phil Coulson : 58 more minutes. Before the juice runs out. I'd... get him some place secure pretty quick. Maybe a little more secure than last time? Just sayin'.

  Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : Very generous of you.

  Phil Coulson : Like I told you before, General, we're the good guys. So, how about we make a deal? S.H.I.E.L.D. will keep dropping off presents like this. You keep getting promoted. All we ask for in return is a little breathing room. Sound good?

  Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : [laughing, pointing his finger at Coulson]  You... you must have some big brass ones, Coulson. Coming out here by yourself to meet me. Face to face. No backup.

  [Makes a macho sound in his throat. Coulson just smiles] 

  Brigadier General Glenn Talbot : Let's face facts. You and your little band of misfits are hardly S.H.I.E.L.D. Our intel says you don't have enough man power or artillery to take down a convenience store. So, I'm sorry, I'm gonna hafta to say no to that deal.

  Phil Coulson : I don't know. I think we're good on artillery.

  [Looks up. The Quinn jet decloaks just above them] 

  Phil Coulson : In case you get any ideas, General. That's just the tip of the iceberg.

  [Walking towards another jet decloaking on the ground, under his breath] 

  Phil Coulson : Let's get out of here before the iceberg runs out of fuel.

• Skye : The item that messed up Hartley's arm, it had those weird symbols on it, the ones you've had me researching.

  Phil Coulson : The same symbols? You sure?

  Skye : Yes.

  [In Coulson's office] 

  Skye : They came up out of the object. It reminded me of Braille. It was like Hartley triggered something by touching it. What the hell is that thing?

  Phil Coulson : I have no idea. But good work.

  Skye : "Good work"? How about, "holy crap, Skye. We got to get on that"?

• Phil Coulson : May, you're approaching a civilian area without backup. If you see him, do not engage. You copy?

  [No response] 

  Phil Coulson : Do you copy?

  [Tires screech and horns blare] 

  Phil Coulson : May, that does *not* sound covert.

• Skye : I know you're the boss. And you have to compartmentalize everything, but it's not healthy. You need to loosen up. Try... yoga... or something.

  [She turns to leave] 

  Phil Coulson : [softly]  I tried it. But, I'm... really not flexible.

  [She closes the door behind her] 

  Phil Coulson : But thanks.

• Lance Hunter : You need warm bodies. Is that it?

  Phil Coulson : I need skilled assets in the field who are willing to step over the line, to do the wrong thing but for the right reason. I need you because I can't be you. Not anymore.

• Melinda May : May: What is wrong with you? You're director now, not some level 1 field agent.

  Phil Coulson : There are no levels anymore. I got rid of those.

• Lance Hunter : Where do you want me?

  Phil Coulson : That depends. Can you follow an order?

  Lance Hunter : Absolutely, sir

  Phil Coulson : Because part of me wants you here running back-end. The other part knows we need boots on the ground, and I've only got a few good pairs.

  Lance Hunter : I'll be good. Scout's honor.

  Phil Coulson : [Later, After Hunter breaks orders]  Scout's honor? You were never a boy scout, were you?

  [Hunter gives him a small smile and a shrug] 

• Phil Coulson : The reality is I don't have a fleet of helicarriers or Quinn jets or thousands of agents at my disposal anymore. We're lucky we still have our George Forman grill.

• Phil Coulson : Oh. I just need you to do one thing.

  Lance Hunter : Yeah?

  Phil Coulson : Sell me out.

• Phil Coulson : What do you want, Raina?

  Raina : It's what I don't want, which is the Obelisk falling into the hands of people who don't understand it. I'm thinking you might.

  Phil Coulson : And I'm thinking you're gonna tell me why.

  Raina : John Garrett understood it. The moment he was injected with the same drug that saved you, he had visions. He started carving those visions on the walls.

  Phil Coulson : Garrett was a madman.

  Raina : Garrett was enlightened. He witnessed our fate... what we'd become. Have you?