Dan Fogler: Jacob Kowalski
Photos
Quotes
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Newt Scamander : [From trailer] Grindelwald has the ability to see the future. So if we hope to defeat him, then our best hope... is to confuse him.
Bunty : Huh?
Jacob Kowalski : It's working on me right now.
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Albus Dumbledore : I owe you an apology. It... it was never my intent for you to suffer the Cruciatus Curse.
Jacob Kowalski : Yeah... well, you know, we got Queenie back, so we're square. Hey, can I ask you a question?
[taking his wand out]
Jacob Kowalski : Can I keep this? For, like, old times' sake?
Albus Dumbledore : I can't think of anyone more deserving.
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Queenie Goldstein : You're in danger, all right? You need to leave.
Jacob Kowalski : Well...
Queenie Goldstein : I can't... I can't go, okay? I can't come home. It's too late for me, all right? Some mistakes, they're just... they're just too big.
Jacob Kowalski : Can you listen to me?
Queenie Goldstein : There's no time. I was followed. I gave 'em the slip, but it won't be long before they find me. They're gonna find us.
Jacob Kowalski : I don't care. All I got is us. I make no sense without us.
Queenie Goldstein : Jacob, what? Come on... I don't love you anymore. Just get outta here.
Jacob Kowalski : You're the worst liar in the world, Queenie Goldstein.
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Jacob Kowalski : Where to next?
Albus Dumbledore : Uh, this is where I leave you.
Jacob Kowalski : I'm... I'm sorry, you're what? Leaving me?
Albus Dumbledore : I have to meet someone else, Mr. Kowalski. Not to worry, you'll be perfectly safe. You don't have the Qilin. Feel free to drop the case at the first hint of trouble. One other thing, if you don't mind me saying. You should stop doubting yourself. You have something most men go their entire lives without. Do you know what that is? A heart that is full. Only a truly brave man could open himself up so honestly and completely, as you do.
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Albus Dumbledore : Grindelwald will do anything within his powers to get his hands on our rare friend. Therefore, it's essential that we keep whoever he dispatches on his behalf guessing, so the Qilin gets to the ceremony safely. If, by teatime, the Qilin, not to mention all of us, are still alive, we should consider our efforts a success.
Jacob Kowalski : For the record, nobody ever died playing three-card monte.
Albus Dumbledore : An important distinction. All right, everybody choose a case and we'll be on our way. Mr. Kowalski, you and I will proceed together first.
Jacob Kowalski : Me? Okay.
[as he reaches for a case, Dumbledore clears his throat and shakes him off, then nods as Jacob indicates another one]
Albus Dumbledore : [activating a portkey] I'm looking forward to you educating me a little further on the finer points of three-card monte.
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Jacob Kowalski : You seem like a really nice witch. You don't know what I've been through with you people. So, could you please get out of my life?
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : A little over a year ago...
Jacob Kowalski : Oh, my...
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : ...in the hopes of securing a small business loan, you walked through the doors of the Steen National Bank, located about six blocks from here. You then made the acquaintance of Newt Scamander, the world's foremost and, albeit only, magizoologist. You then learned of a world you had previously been wholly unaware of. You met and fell in love with a witch named Queenie Goldstein, had your brain wiped by means of Obliviation, only it didn't take. And as a result, you reunited with Ms. Goldstein, who, after your refusal to marry her, mm, decided to join Gellert Grindelwald and his dark army of followers, who pose the single greatest threat to both your world and ours in four centuries. How did I do?
Jacob Kowalski : That was good. Except for the part about Queenie going over to the dark side. I mean, yeah, she's... she's cuckoo. But she's got a heart bigger than this whole crazy island, and-and... and she is so smart, you know? She's... she can legitimately read your brain, you know, she's a whatchamacallit...
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : A Legilimens.
Jacob Kowalski : Yeah. Look... you see this? You see the pan? That's me, I'm the pan. I'm all dented, dime-a-dozen. I'm just a schmo. I don't know what kind of crazy ideas you have in your head there, lady, but I'm sure as hell you could do a lot better than me. Goodbye.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : I don't think we can, Mr. Kowalski. You could have ducked under the counter, but you didn't. You could have looked the other way, but you didn't. In fact, you were willing to put yourself in danger to save a perfect stranger. Seems to me you're just the kind of average joe the world needs right now. You just don't know it yet. That's why I had to show you. We need you, Mr. Kowalski.
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Jacob Kowalski : You know what Dumbledore said to me?
Queenie Goldstein : No.
Jacob Kowalski : He said that I got a full heart. He's wrong. I'm always gonna have room in there for you.
Queenie Goldstein : Yeah?
Jacob Kowalski : Yeah. You know it.
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Jacob Kowalski : What is this place?
Newt Scamander : The room we require.
Albus Dumbledore : I trust you all have the tickets that Bunty gave you? You'll need them to gain access to the ceremony.
[indicating four suitcases on the ground]
Albus Dumbledore : What do you think, Newt? Can you tell which one is yours?
Newt Scamander : No.
Albus Dumbledore : Good. I'd be worried if you could.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : I assume the Qilin's in one of these cases.
Albus Dumbledore : Yes.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Well, which one is it?
Albus Dumbledore : Which one, indeed.
Jacob Kowalski : Ooh, it's like a three-card monte thing. Like a shell game thing. Like-like a short con.
[seeing they don't understand]
Jacob Kowalski : Never mind, it's a Muggle thing.
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Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Hey, sweetheart, what brings you downtown?
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : I really hope you didn't spend all day coming up with that.
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Oh, you want scary, is that what you want?
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : You know what it is, you just aren't menacing enough.
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : I think I'm plenty menacing. I'm...
[to one of his friends]
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Am I not menacing?
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Maybe if you waved your arms around, you know, like a crazy man, then you'd appear more menacing.
[he does it a little half-heartedly]
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : That's good. A little more.
[he does it more, and from his bakery, Jacob sees them]
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : A little more. Keep going. Perfect. Three, two, one.
Jacob Kowalski : [coming outside] Hey!
[clanging two pans together]
Jacob Kowalski : That's enough. Get outta here.
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : What's on your mind, baker boy?
Jacob Kowalski : Oh, jeez. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Oh, well, we're not.
Jacob Kowalski : It's a lady. I tell you what, I'll give you the first shot.
[indicating his chin]
Jacob Kowalski : Go ahead.
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Are you sure?
[getting the Full-Body Bind Curse put on him]
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Oh, boy.
[recovering]
Frank Doyle (Workman 1) : Last time I ever help that woman out again. Lally!
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Whoopsie, Frank. Sometimes I forget my own strength. I'll take it from here. Thank you!
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Jacob Kowalski : [emerging from a fireplace via the Floo Network] Spinning! Always with the spinning.
Newt Scamander : [happy to see him] Jacob. Welcome! You brilliant man. Sorry. I was absolutely sure that Professor Hicks would convince you.
Jacob Kowalski : Yeah. You know me, pal. I can't pass up a good Portkey.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : [emerging from the fireplace, too] Mr. Scamander.
Newt Scamander : Professor Hicks.
Newt Scamander , Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : At long last.
Newt Scamander : So, Professor Hicks and I, we've corresponded for many years, but we've never actually met. So, her book on advanced charm-casting is a must-read.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Newt is far too kind. "Fantastic Beasts" is required reading for all my fifth-years.
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Newt Scamander : Dumbledore asked that I give you something, Jacob.
[taking out a magic wand]
Newt Scamander : It's snakewood. It's, uh, somewhat rare.
Jacob Kowalski : Are you kiddin' me right now? Is this thing real?
Newt Scamander : Yes. Well, it doesn't have a core, so sort of, but yes.
Jacob Kowalski : It's sorta real?
Newt Scamander : More importantly, where we're going, you'll need it. Now, there's something for you, too, I think, Theseus. Um... Teddy, please let go now. Teddy, please let go. No. Teddy, will you behave? This is Theseus'...
[he accidentally launches his Niffler at Jacob, then picks up a tie from the floor]
Newt Scamander : Um, that's...
Theseus Scamander : [taking it, sarcastic] Well, of course. Now everything makes sense.
Newt Scamander : Um, Lally, I believe you were given some reading material?
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : You know what they say. A book can take you around the world and back, all you have to do is open it.
Jacob Kowalski : She ain't kiddin'.
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Queenie Goldstein : Oh, are you all right, honey? Oh, you're nervous about the speech. Don't be nervous. Tell him, honey.
Jacob Kowalski : Don't be nervous about the speech.
Newt Scamander : I-I'm not nervous.
Jacob Kowalski : [heading to the kitchen] What is the smell? Why is there burning? Albert?
Queenie Goldstein : Mm. Maybe we're nervous about something else, huh?
Newt Scamander : I can't imagine what you're talking about.
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Jacob Kowalski : I said I wanted out, and I want out.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Come now, Mr. Kowalski.
Jacob Kowalski : Can't believe my therapist said you wizards don't exist. What a waste of...
[entering his bakery and seeing she's already inside]
Jacob Kowalski : ...money!
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : You do know I'm a witch, right?
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Jacob Kowalski : Albert, don't forget the pierogis.
Albert (Baker) : Yes, Mr. K.
Jacob Kowalski : Albert. No more than eight minutes on the kolaczkis.
Albert (Baker) : Yes, Mr. K.
Jacob Kowalski : He's a sweet kid. He doesn't know the difference between paszteciki and golabki.
Queenie Goldstein : Hey, sweetheart.
Jacob Kowalski : What?
Queenie Goldstein : Newt doesn't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. And you are not working today, remember?
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Jacob Kowalski : Is Tina coming?
Newt Scamander : Tina's not available. Um... Tina's been promoted, she's, uh, very, very busy from... well, from what I understand.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Tina's been made head of the American Auror Office.
Jacob Kowalski : Oh.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : We know each other well. She's quite a remarkable woman.
Newt Scamander : She is.
Theseus Scamander : So, this is the team that's gonna take down the most dangerous wizard we've faced in over a century. A magizoologist, his indispensable assistant, a schoolteacher, a wizard descended from a very old French family, and... a Muggle baker with his fake wand.
Jacob Kowalski : Hey, we got you, too, pal, and his wand works.
Theseus Scamander : Who wouldn't like our chances?
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Jacob Kowalski : How do you confuse a guy that can see the future?
Yusuf Kama : Countersight.
Newt Scamander : Exactly. So, the best plan being no plan.
Eulalie 'Lally' Hicks : Or many overlapping plans.
Newt Scamander : Thus, confusion.
