- Barry Goldberg: It's midnight already?
- Mr. Mellor: Welcome to the first midnight of the rest of your life. For I have taught you to dance, and that will get you... whatever it is you wanted.
- Barry Goldberg: Lainey and I want you to go on Dance Party U.S.A. with us.
- Erica Goldberg: [with pink eye, glasses, a bad curly perm and a neck brace] There's no way I can go on TV like this!
- Barry Goldberg: Sure you can.
- Erica Goldberg: How can you say that?
- Barry Goldberg: [gestures to her whole geeky appearance] This is how I feel every single day of my life. And after seeing you melt down in the cafeteria today, I don't want you to ever feel this bad again.
- Adam Goldberg: He still lied to me.
- Murray Goldberg: He exaggerated, all grandpas do, and do you know why? Because they want you to love them as much as they love you.
- Barry Goldberg: It's just pink eye. Everyone gets it.
- Erica Goldberg: Not everyone gets it from a kaleidoscope they find on the underpass.
- Barry Goldberg: Hey, the crusty puffiness in my eye is worth the view of the world this kaleidoscope will give me.
- [puts it to his good eye]
- Lainey Lewis: You know you're going to get it in your other eye.
- Barry Goldberg: Huh?
- Barry Goldberg: How can you deny the world these sweet rhythmic moves?
- Beverly Goldberg: Oh, so this is happening.
- [Starts dancing along]
- Barry Goldberg: Get away from me! I'm contagious!
- Beverly Goldberg: The only thing that's contagious is your sweet dance moves.
- Barry Goldberg: Here's some pudding. Thought you might need it.
- Erica Goldberg: I don't need your pity pudding. Dammit, yes I do!
- [Grabs pudding and starts wolfing it down]
- Barry Goldberg: You said your coach made you take tap to help with your balance.
- Mr. Mellor: I never took tap! I took modern, it's a man's dance.