Mick Foley: Commissioner Mick Foley

Quotes 

• Commissioner Mick Foley : Do you know what I have? I have the greatest job in the world. One week as commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation, and look what's happened. The Faction is splitting up.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : The WWF stock is going through the roof.

  [more cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And we've got ourselves a new WWF champion.

  [still more cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : It certainly is a tremendous job, but unfortunately, as commissioner, I sometimes have to make some decisions which I know are not going to be popular. So, tonight, I hope everyone understand and forgive me when I officially ban the Worm.

  [the crowd jeers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : I'm just kidding. I love that move!

• Commissioner Mick Foley : I do have an important decision to make, but it concerns the #1 contender. You see, I tried to settle things, I had ourselves a tremendous triple-threat match, but Triple H and Kurt Angle completely screwed up the whole thing. So, tonight, in Orlando, Florida...

  [the crowd cheers, and he gives his cheesy thumbs-up] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...the possibilities are wide open!

  [the Rock's music hits, and he comes to the ring to a thunderous ovation] 

  The Rock : [Mick offers a handshake]  Mick Foley, after all the history that you and the Rock have been through, after all the cage matches, the ladder matches, I Quit matches, Last Man Standing matches, the Rock says, welcome back.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : [shaking hands]  Thank you, Rock. And let me congratulate you now, five-time WWF champion. And not only that, but I've got to say, Rock, that has got to put you right up there in the elite list of the greatest WWF champions of all time. And I want to know one thing. How does that make you feel?

  The Rock : Well, the Rock...

  Commissioner Mick Foley : [cutting him off]  IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL!

  [the crowd roars] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Yeah! Yeah! I did it!

  [sliding out of the ring, he runs around it, and the fans join in on the chant] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Foley! Foley! Foley! Foley! Foley!

  [rolling back into the ring] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : I finally got you! I finally got you!

  The Rock : Didn't the Rock tell you never to use his catchphrases again?

• The Rock : The fact of the matter is this, there's business to tend to. Why all the deliberation about the #1 contendership? You are the commissioner of the WWF, the Rock says, just *make* a new #1 contender.

  [Vince's music hits, but it's Shane who comes out] 

  Shane McMahon : I know what you're all thinking. How could a normal man who suffered knee and rib injuries at the King of the Ring be standing before all of you here tonight? And the answer is, a normal man could not be standing here in front of you tonight, but you see, Shane McMahon has never just been a normal man.

  [the crowd begins an "asshole" chant] 

  Shane McMahon : In college, I was both a scholar and an athlete. I graduated valedictorian of my class. And I was the captain of both the debate and my water polo team.

  [the crowd chants "Shane's a pussy"] 

  Shane McMahon : That, I assure you, I am not. One thing I am sure of, though, is I have somewhat, somehow, endured a chokeslam at the King of the Ring. 15 feet in the air...

  [as the crowd continues chanting] 

  Shane McMahon : Stop it! If that's true, then how do you explain how Shane-O-Mac has somewhat overcome a chokeslam 15 feet in the air at the King of the Ring as the Undertaker slam-dunked me through the announce table?

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Shane McMahon : And I've had to endure my power-hungry mother and my egomaniacal, crazed-maniac, egomaniac father embarrassing themselves in public. I've also witnessed my very own brother-in-law lose the World Wrestling Federation championship...

  [the crowd cheers again] 

  Shane McMahon : ...without actually being pinned himself. And week in and week out, I have witnessed the millions of fans calling my baby sister a slut.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Shane McMahon : And now...

  [the crowd begins chanting "slut"] 

  Shane McMahon : And now I have to stand here and watch the balance of power slip through my fingers, slip through my hands, and it is now shifted to a slob that we now have to call Commissioner Foley. Well, I'm not gonna take it anymore, no! Tonight, I'm taking a stand. Tonight, just as my forefathers did, Shane McMahon is declaring his independence day. You see, it should be me, it should be Shane-O-Mac who takes the World Wrestling Federation into the next millennium. And it should be me, Shane McMahon, who deems and who decides who should be the #1 contender!

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait, wait, Shane. It was kind of hard for me to tell with all these people screaming at you, but are you saying that you think you should be the #1 contender?

  Shane McMahon : No, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. No.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait. Rock. Rock, did you hear Shane-O-Mac say that he should be the #1 contender?

  Shane McMahon : That's not what I said! I didn't say that!

  The Rock : It sounds to the Rock that Shane *wants* to be the #1 contender.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Shane. Shane, when you were talking about sailing 15 feet through the air and down crashing through the table, I've got to admit, I went home and I... and I put that tape on freeze-frame, and it put it on slow motion, and I looked real carefully, and as you were sailing 15 feet through the air, I saw it, Shane! You have something that I used to... actually, the Rock used to call it and I stole it from him, but it's called testicular fortitude. And you, my friend, have got it! So I'm telling everybody right here in Orlando, Florida...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...that we've got ourselves a new #1 contender. And what the hell, Rock, you look ready for a fight. We're gonna make the match right here tonight in this very ring!

  The Rock : So, basically, Shane McMahon, what Commissioner Foley has just said is you come out here and you run your mouth about your independence day. You come out here and run your mouth, Fourth of July, 1776. And you run your mouth about your forefathers. Well, the Rock says this, the year 2000, and just like the Rock's forefather, George Washington, he cannot tell a lie, because the Rock says tonight, he's just gonna kick your candy ass all over Orlando!