Kurt Angle: Kurt Angle

Quotes 

• Chyna : Now, Mick, I know you have a job to do, and I also know...

  [chuckling] 

  Chyna : Well, okay, I thoroughly enjoyed ramming Stephanie's head into the mat on "SmackDown!".

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Chyna : But wait a minute. I had nothing to do with calling the police. And furthermore, there's nothing going on between me and Triple H. I mean, I am with Eddie Guerrero.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Eddie Guerrero, now wait a second. Wait a second. Eddie Guerrero, the very man who lost last week to Triple H? Eddie Guerrero, the very man who stood tonight to lose once again right in front of Mamacita? Come to think of it, who had more cause to eliminate Triple H from the picture than Latino Heat himself? So, Eddie Guerrero, why don't you come out here?

  Kurt Angle : That's an excellent point, Mick. You're right. I believe that. It might have been Eddie. It probably was.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Hey, shut up, Kurt! Eddie Guerrero, come on out!

  [Eddie's music hits, and he joins Chyna on the entrance ramp] 

  Eddie Guerrero : Whatchu talkin' about, esse? You know, if you think that I wanted Triple H out of the picture, well, you couldn't be more wrong, man. If anything, I wanted to prove to Mamacita and the whole world that I could kick that homey's butt right in the middle of the ring! So, Commissioner Foley, I think you got the wrong guy, esse.

• Commissioner Mick Foley : We seem to have all the potential suspects out here, but nobody is willing to admit their guilt. Now, I may be your commissioner, but I am still only one man, and why should one man make that decision when we have 15,000 fans right here?

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : In Lexington, Kentucky!

  [the crowd cheers louder] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : So, why don't we play a little game right now? Why don't we all decide if maybe, just maybe, it could be the meddling wife, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Could it be the jealous husband, Triple H?

  [the crowd jeers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Could it be three-time WWF champion and hardcore legend, Mick Foley?

  [the crowd jeers again, and he climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Or could it be the woman who drove Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley's head into the canvas? Could it be Chyna?

  [a mixture of cheers and boos] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : That leaves only two. Could it be her Latin lover, Latino Heat, Eddie Guerrero?

  [the crowd boos] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : We're down to one. Only one. Integrity, intensity, intelligence. Lexington, Kentucky...

  Kurt Angle : Whoa. Before you continue, I just want to wish everyone out there a happy and healthy Labor Day. It's true, it's true.

  [the crowd boos] 

  Kurt Angle : It's true!

  Triple H : Quit kissing ass, Angle!

  Commissioner Mick Foley : That... that's a nice point. But who here thinks maybe, just maybe, it might be Olympic champion Kurt Angle?

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Oh, ho. Oh. You are in big, big trouble now, mister. You're coming back with me and we're gonna speak to the authorities.

  [as he starts to lead Kurt up the ramp, T&A's music hits and Test comes out with Trish Stratus] 

  Test : Mick, before you do anything drastic, I got a confession I gotta make. Actually, to tell the truth, it's a confession I've been wanting to make for a long, long time. To be more specific, November 29, 1999. You remember that date, don't you, Triple H?

  [Hunter grins and laughs] 

  Test : 'Cause I know I do. It was supposed to be the greatest moment of my life. I was supposed to get married. I was supposed to get money. I was supposed to get power. And I was supposed to watch my career skyrocket to the top! But that didn't happen, did it, Triple H? No. Because it was you who took Stephanie right from underneath my nose. And it was you who got the money, you who got the power, and you who watched your career skyrocket to the top while I sat back and let it happen. Triple H, you have no idea how long I've waited for this moment. You have no idea the smile that came across my face when I watched the cops take you out of that building last week. My only regret? They didn't send your sorry ass to jail. You think last Thursday was the worst night of your life? Well, last November was the worst night of mine. So, I took it upon myself to make a little phone call to the cops.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. So, you called the cops? You're the culprit? Then it seems like there's only one thing to do. And that is we are going to make a one-on-one matchup tonight in Lexington, Kentucky!

  Test : [the crowd cheers]  Well, that's just fine.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Pitting you, Test, against that man, the WWF champion, Triple H!

  Test : Well, that's just fine, because, Triple H, paybacks and your wife have a lot in common. They're both a bitch!

• Triple H : Foley, I know I've hit you in the head a thousand times. I know you're a little lost up there. But even I couldn't have done that much damage to your brain. Why would I call the police on myself?

  Commissioner Mick Foley : "Why would I want to call the police on myself?" A legitimate troubled query, or exactly the type of question you'd want us to ask? What better way than to pull the heartstrings of your star-crossed wife? What better way to evoke sympathy from all of us? What better way, Triple H...

  Triple H : To prove to the world that you are the biggest jackass on the face of God's green Earth! What, you don't think I see through you? You don't think I see what you're doing? You're trying to turn this around on me? You're trying to make it seem like I was the one that called the police on myself? I saw that tape, Foley. I watched you run out to the police car. I watched you force my wife to accompany Kurt Angle to the ring instead of going to the police department, where she should have been, to defend me. Now, what I see standing before me, Foley, is not the roly-poly, happy-go-lucky, rotund little guy that all these people love so much.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Triple H : What I see is a miserable, twisted, manipulative guy that just wants to ruin my marriage at all costs because he's bitter and jealous over the fact that I ended his sorry-ass career.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : You raise quite a few legitimate points there, Triple H. But I happen to know that I'm not the culprit, because, first off, as the WWF commissioner, I carry diplomatic immunity, and second of all, I happen to know for a fact that I wouldn't do that type of thing. So, if it wasn't you, Triple H, and it wasn't you, Stephanie, and it wasn't me, there seems to be only one likely candidate. Kurt Angle, come on down!

  [Kurt's music hits, and he comes out, stopping at the bottom of the entrance ramp] 

  Kurt Angle : This is absolutely ridiculous, Mick. I mean, I feel like Richard Jewell, the man who was wrongfully accused of setting off a pipe bomb at the Olympics. The very Olympics where I won these prestigious medals, by the way. It's true, it's true. And you're right, Mick, I didn't like how Hunter brutally hit my good friend Stephanie. But I wouldn't call the cops. I mean, I am a man of integrity. And if you're looking for a suspect, what about the one person that wants to see Stephanie and Triple H break up more than anyone? I'm talking about Chyna. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's true. I mean, think about it, Mick. Triple H and Chyna, they have a lot in common. Think about it. They both obviously still have the hots for each other, we all know that. You saw it Thursday on "SmackDown!". They both will do whatever they have to to get what they want. And after watching Chyna on "SmackDown!" DDTing my good friend Stephanie, what a disgrace, I might add, they both obviously have no problem in physically abusing Stephanie. And that is true. So if you're looking for a suspect, I think your suspect is backstage right now, and her name is Chyna.

  Triple H : Kurt, you stupid little piece of...

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait, wait, wait, Triple H, Triple H. After all, we are investigating all of the potential suspects, and because I happen to know that Chyna's back there looking at me right now, I'm going to invite her out here to explain her actions. Chyna, come on out.