WWE Raw (TV Series)

Hello, TNN (2000)

Steve Austin: 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin

Photos 

Quotes 

• 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : You know, in the ten months since Stone Cold Steve Austin's been gone, a lot of things have changed here in the World Wrestling Federation. First off, you got Vince McMahon leaving the company so, as he says, he can go make babies. Well, due to the fact that Shane and Stephanie both turned out to be complete jackasses...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : ...I hope for the sake of the human race that sumbitch is shootin' blanks. And I'll tell you this, had I gotten here a little sooner, I'da clubbed that sumbitch over the head and took him to one of those vasectomy clinics myself. Another major development, you got a Triple H and a Stephanie marriage. They're on again, they're off again, they're fighting again, they're making up, they're in power, they're out of power. To me, long story short, it's the worst marriage in the history of the business, and that's what I got to say about that. Another thing that's kinda struck me as being kind of weird is you got a guy named Mideon runnin' all over the place buck nekkid. Now, in my book that's bad enough, but you'd expect the sumbitch to have the decency to get about six tubes of Clearasil and get those pimples off his ass! Being back, I see about the only thing that hasn't changed is that Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna come out here, I'm gonna drink beer...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : ...I'm gonna raise up both middle fingers...

  [the crowd cheers again] 

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : ...and I'm gonna do what I want when I want, which leads me to last night at Unforgiven. See, Stone Cold Steve Austin came back, I drank a few beers, I kicked a few asses, but I did not find the yellow bastard that ran me down at Survivor Series. So I'm saying this, and I direct this comment back to all the WWF superstars in the back, I am gonna weed my way through every last one of you, because coming back and getting back in the ring ain't good enough. Having a little wrestling match ain't good enough. Basically, what I'm saying, ain't a damn thing good enough 'til I get my payback, and I will get my payback, and when I find the bastard that did this, I will take it out on your ass, and it will be the very worst day of your life, and that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!

• Commissioner Mick Foley : Steve, I'd just like to say as a guy who's ridden up and down the roads with you, had some tremendous matches in these types of rings with you, that when you went down with your neck injury ten months ago, and when I retired, I thought the last thing in the world that we'd ever see is Stone Cold and Mick Foley in the same ring again together. And may I say it is my honor and my privilege to stand in this very ring with you tonight. But that being said, I hope you don't mind, but you kind of made a glaring omission when you were talking about Triple H and you were talking about me, and, you see, you forgot to say that after I retired, I came back to become the commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation and become the man in charge right here. And while I'm very much in support of your quest to find the person who ran you over, I don't know, I kind of take exception to the methods that you propose using, namely taking it out of somebody's ass. Nobody's ass needs to be violated in any way in the WWF, Steve. So, I know this isn't going to be a popular thing, but you gotta understand, the boys in the back respect me, and the fans really like me.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Especially the ones right here on the campus of Penn State University!

  [the crowd cheers louder] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : So, what I propose is to kind of sit back, relax, and let the commissioner find out who the culprit is, and then I guaran... can I say it? I guaran-damn-tee you that I'll get to the bottom of this and I'll find your man. Thank you very much.

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : Now, now, now, hold on. First of all, I think you know as well as anybody, I don't give a damn about authority figures. And I respect everything that you've done here, Mick. But might I also say that I don't think your little investigation is making very much progress, and I think you know what I mean.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : No, I'm not sure I do know exactly what you mean, Steve. Maybe you'd like to explain it a little clearer to me.

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : Yeah, I'll 'splain it a little more clearer to you. How I don't know that it was you driving that rent-a-car? Hell, we used to go up and down the road together, I know that you're one of the worst drivers in the business. How do I know it wasn't you that was driving that car?

• Chris Benoit : Steve Austin. We haven't met. I'm Chris Benoit, the best damn technical wrestler in the world today.

  [the crowd begins an "asshole' chant] 

  Chris Benoit : Now, we can all stand here and talk about some injustice that took place ten months ago, but I'm here to address an even greater injustice that took place last night. For the second time in my WWF career, my name was announced as WWF champion. I became a two-time WWF champion, only to have it taken from me, robbed from me once again. You wanna talk about paypack? You want to talk about retribution? If anyone deserves payback around here tonight, it's me. I want The Rock tonight for the WWF championship. If anyone deserves justice around here, it's me.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : You know, Chris, there's a... there's a young man holding a sign out there, can we get a shot at it? It says, uh, "Benoit was screwed". And I've had a little time to think about my decision, and realized that not only were you screwed, but I probably screwed you last night worse than a White House intern. So to prove that I am a fair commissioner, what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a match, in this very ring, right here tonight on the campus of Penn State University!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And you will fight for the WWF title against The Rock!

  [Kurt Angle's music hits, and he comes out to join them in the ring] 

  Kurt Angle : Chris Benoit, there's no doubt in my mind that you got royally screwed last night. It's true, you did. But it pales in comparison to the night I had. I mean, the night I had would make the Penn State football season look really good.

  [the crowd boos] 

  Kurt Angle : Well, actually, my night wasn't that bad, but it's right up there. Last night...

  [the crowd begins an "asshole" chant] 

  Kurt Angle : Last night, I almost lost a friend when Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley kicked me in the genitals and cost me my match with Triple H.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Kurt Angle : And I say "almost lost", because a big part of friendship is learning to forgive. And, Steph, I saw the tape from last night. I saw how terrified you were of Triple H. I saw that crazy look in his eyes, I saw how he forced himself on you after you. And, Steph, I just want to say this, I understand why you did what you did, and I forgive you. But I do not forgive Triple H. Triple H the wrestler did not beat me, oh, no. Triple H the crazy-eyed, abusive husband beat me. So if there's anybody in this ring that deserves a rematch, that deserves some justice, it's me, Mick, and that is true.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Kurt, may I suggest a little amendment to your three I's? I think we should maybe add a "B", for "bravery". Because last night, you no doubt showed true bravery when you were beating up on Triple H's injured ribs to the point that he could barely walk. So after thinking over your idea for the last seven or eight seconds, as commissioner of the WWF, I am saying it is DENIED! No rematch for you, Kurt Angle!

  Kurt Angle : [the crowd cheers]  You know, that's fine, Mick. If Triple H wants to take a little extra time to lick his many wounds, I'll accept that for now. But I want to talk about one little other, small, little, tiny incident from last night.

  [looking at Stone Cold] 

  Kurt Angle : Namely, regarding this one. How dare you look at me like that, Austin?

  [Austin moves to get in his face] 

  Kurt Angle : What do you think? How dare you think that Chris Benoit or me hit you with a car last November? I mean, first of all, Chris Benoit wasn't even here last November, and I... I'm a man of integrity. I could never commit such an act, and that is true. And last night, I offered you something very valuable. I offered you my friendship. I offered you my friendship and a special replica of an Olympic gold medal. And I consider that to be very nice since you're not really a winner. Oh, it's true. And what did you do? How did you respond? You attacked me. You attacked an American hero.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Kurt Angle : So I demand an apology right here tonight. And I, and I think I speak for Chris Benoit, as well, will not see our careers go down the drain just because you were too slow to jump out of the way of a car last November. So, I think you owe I, me, and in a sense, the rest of America, an apology right now. Here and now.

  'Stone Cold' Steve Austin : You know, I appreciate the fact that you offered me your friendship last night, and that you gave me that gold medal. And I guess I do kind of owe you an apology. But, uh, that's probably not gonna happen tonight.

  [he gives Kurt a Stone Cold Stunner]