It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

The Gang Goes to Hell (2016)

Glenn Howerton: Dennis Reynolds

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Quotes 

• Dennis Reynolds : Oh... hello.

  [puts arm up blocking her way, thunder rumbles] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Wow. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you there... Anyway, I, um, I should've introduced myself earlier. I'm the daiquiri man, but I suspect you already knew that, didn't you?

  [chuckles softly] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Was it good? Was it sweet?

  Christina : I guess.

  Dennis Reynolds : Well, it either was or it wasn't.

  Christina : Yeah.

  Dennis Reynolds : Yeah. Of course, yeah. No, I had one too. It-it was sweet. You seem sweet. I've been watching you, and following you, of sorts. You know, in a good way... So, how'd you like that magic show? Do you enjoy magic? You know, I-I can do magic.

  [pulls out her license] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Whoop.

  Christina : Uh- how did you get that?

  Dennis Reynolds : Get your license? Don't worry about it. 1996, though. That's good. That makes the cutoff. There you go. I wasn't gonna steal it.

  [clears throat] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Um, so how 'bout this storm, huh? I think it's kinda cool, you know? Here we are on a boat, you know, out in the middle of... out in the middle of nowhere. And nobody would ever hear our screams in this wind, you know?

  [thunder crackles] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Oh. The thunder's really... It's throwing this whole thing off. It's making everything I say seem sinister, which it's not intended to be, you know what I mean? What's up?

  Christina : I-I'm sorry. I have to go.

  Dennis Reynolds : No! No, no, no, no, no. Sorry, no. It's... there's nowhere to go.

  [chuckles] 

  Dennis Reynolds : There's really nowhere to go. You know? So... why don't I, uh, come in your room?

  [chuckles] 

  Dennis Reynolds : "Come in your room." That's not what I meant. I would like to go in your room. Um, and I suspect that maybe... you might say no, and yet... I also feel like maybe... you wouldn't dare.

  [Christina screams and runs off] 

  Dennis Reynolds : Well, that's not supposed to happen.

• Dennis Reynolds : How's it going with the wrath thing? You, uh, staying away from that?

  Dee Reynolds : Well, yeah, you know, I was trying, but there are certain See You Next Tuesdays on this ship that are making it very difficult.

  Dennis Reynolds : Mm, yeah, I feel ya. I'm-I'm already struggling with the lust thing. See this, uh, flaxen-haired seductress across the pool over here?

  Dee Reynolds : Dennis, she looks like she's 12 years old.

  Dennis Reynolds : No, she's of age. I checked. Well, she's galavanting around, you know, flaunting it for me, and she knows how easy it would be for me to have her, too, because of the implication. Not that you would understand. It's not what you think it is.

  Dee Reynolds : No, I think I get it. We're out in the middle of the ocean, she's stuck on a boat. She couldn't possibly say no, 'cause something might go wrong for her if she did.

  Dennis Reynolds : That's... that's exactly what it is. How did you get that so fast?

  Dee Reynolds : It's like when I'm alone with a guy, and we're messing around, and he gets all skittish about banging. So then I insinuate that it would be a shame if my account of what happened was different from his, and then he ended up getting a call from the sheriff. You know what I mean? And then, boom. We plow.