- Mitchell Pritchett: Hey, sweetie, hi. How was your day?
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: Better than hers.
- [Referring to Cameron, who's crying]
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: What's wrong now?
- Mitchell Pritchett: Daddy's just having a moment.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: He's always having a moment.
- Haley Dunphy: How hard can it be to find a nerdy roommate? They're all just versions of you. Indian you, blonde you, Asian you... Oh, look! Her name is actually Yu.
- Alex Dunphy: [Phil is standing in front of a closed theater] You know that isn't a movie named Closed for Demolition, right?
- Phil Dunphy: We're breaking in.
- Luke Dunphy: Are we going to smash a brick through the window?
- Phil Dunphy: I had something more elegant in mind.
- [Starts feeling the front door]
- Phil Dunphy: You forget, I gave birth to this building. I know her strengths and her weaknesses.
- [Rattles the door but it won't open]
- Phil Dunphy: Did you see a brick?