- [after finding out Denny and Russell's vacation got rained out]
- Sideswipe: That's what they get for taking their vacation on Earth. Should've gone to Cybertron. They could have been speeding in the Sonic Canyons...
- Strongarm: Hiking the Manganese Mountains...
- Grimlock: Hanging out in the Acid Wastes...
- [beat]
- Sideswipe: Why would you want to hang out in the Acid Wastes?
- Grimlock: Is that a trick question? The sunsets are amazing!
- Bumblebee: [into comms] Fixit, give us some fun facts about this amazing place you've sent us to.
- Fixit: Let's see. Uh, you're not far from the ghost town of Edmundville.
- Bumblebee: [ebullient] A ghost town? Cool!
- Fixit: Your location has the highest temperature in the area. The average rainfall is slightly less than zero. Oh, the variety of desert lizards where you are is spectable- spectacle-
- [hits self]
- Fixit: spectacular! The region is home to over 200 different species, including the leopard lizard, the horned lizard, the spiny lizard, the gecko, the iguana, the skink...
- [Swideswipe silent mocks Fixit's running of the mouth with his hand as Grimlock laughs]
- Bumblebee: Uh, thank's Fixit.
- [Bumblebee closes comms]
- [the Autobots hide in the ghost town of Edmundville as a bus of tourists arrive unexpectedly]
- Tour Guide: [reciting in a bored, flat tone, with unenthusiastic gestures] Here we are folks. Edmundville. One of the last true ghost towns of the formerly wild, wild West. Back in its heyday, this dusty old street was filled with cowpokes, gamblers, miners, and outlaws.
- Grimlock: [Grimlock peeks from behind a building and chuckles] Bee could do that human's job, no problem.
- Tour Guide: Yet today, Edmundville is complete empty...
- [dramatic zoom]
- Tour Guide: [equally flat, but rehearsedly measured] Or is it.
- [tourists dramatically turn around at this]
- Tour Guide: Many legends surround this old town. Take the old mine, for instance. Folks say you can still hear the clink of pickaxes and the laughter of old miners, looooong gooone. That old train hasn't run in more than a hundred years, yet sometimes at midnight its whistle can be heard for miles around.
- [hinges creak, swinging doors thump at the saloon. The tourists murmur indistinctly]
- Tour Guide: [a little uneasily] Then there's the tale of...
- [a ghostly wail, sounding like Sideswipe, rises from the cemetary where a gravestone simply marked "RIP" starts wobbling. The humans turn around and gasp, whimper, and cower three times in rapid succession and in unison. The sound of a train whistle blowing is heard. It's Strongarm imitating it, hiding behind the derelict train. The humans cower together as a group one direction. Wails from the cemetary sending them scuttling down the street. The star falls from the sheriff's station behind them and they exclaim in unison]
- Tour Guide: [genuinely frightened] Oh! Tour guide gets to safety first! That's the rule! Excuse me! Move it!
- [bus's tires screech as it takes off rapidly. Bumblebee watches it depart from behind the sheriff's station's marquee and laughs]
- Strongarm: [to Jetstorm and Slipstream] If you're ever trapped in a locked vault again, just remember: you can always make your own backdoor.
- Bumblebee: [into comms] Fixit, are there any Decepticons that can make themselves invisible?
- Strongarm: This is a ghost town *and* a Decepticon town?
- Fixit: I'm sorry about all this, Lieutenant. I'm ending my career as a travel agent. I found one Decepticon matching your criteria, sir.
- [12-second pause as the database animates searching for and pulling up the record, during which Fixit could, nay should, have been delivering his previous line]
- Fixit: He can do more than make himself disappear. His name is Pseudo. He was Cybertron's sneakiest shy- fly-
- [a clank is heard over comms]
- Fixit: spy! Arrested for selling Cybertronian secrets to off-world enemies.
- Bumblebee: So he *does* have the power of invisibility.
- Fixit: No. He's a shifter. Pseudo can change his appearance and even his actual physical structure to blend in with any environment.
- Bumblebee: Thanks, Fixit.
- [last lines]
- [groundbridge opens behind them]
- Bumblebee: Okay, team. Time to head for...
- Sideswipe: [looking away from the groundbridge] Whoa.
- [they all turn to look at a spectactular desert sunset]
- Grimlock: Now that *is* better than the Acid Wastes.
- Fixit: [over comms] Hey, are you guys coming back or not? I want to hear about your trip. Hey, did you bring me any souvenir lizards samples? Hello?