The Good Catholic (2017)
Zachary Spicer: Daniel
Quotes
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Jane : I get it, but in different circumstances we're totally dating right now.
Daniel : No. No, I... No.
Jane : Wow, Father, you really know how to make a girl feel special.
Daniel : No, I mean, uh, eh, ooo, uh, this isn't... I-I-I... We're... I... I wouldn't say that... that... I mean, we're not. W... I-I-I-I'm not, you know?
Jane : No, I don't, but I'd be happy to give feedback if you feel compelled to articulate an entire thought.
Daniel : I am committed to God. Th-th-that means that any, um... um, emotional connection..,. uh, that is... other than friendship - which, which is what I think that we have, uh, friendship. You know, a really strong... But, ah, anything MORE than that is obviously, uh, not allowed. I mean, it goes against everything, uh... everything - heh-heh-heh - that I am, so...
Jane : How do you expect to get laid if you keep saying that kind of stuff?
[Daniel exhales]
Jane : That was a joke. Relax.
Daniel : Well, you're probably going to hell because of it, so I really hope it was worth it.
[look of shock and disbelief]
Daniel : I really can't tell jokes, can I?
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Daniel : I'm not going anywhere.
Jane : Yeah, well, you're not the one I'm worried about. I'm not crazy, in case you were wondering. I mean, yeah, but no, not really. It started off as a joke, but just saying it, "I'm dying, finite," it gave things a sense of urgency; and, sometimes it doesn't work - well, most of the time - but there are days, if I really let myself buy into it, where I can actually see the beauty of how little time we really have... and lately, that only seems to be happening when I'm with you.
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Ollie : Look, you gotta... you gotta find something of your own, something selfish and stupid and... human; otherwise, you just might wind up like Victor.
Daniel : What's wrong with that?
Ollie : He wears his collar to Target. I mean he literally puts on his collar to buy Honey Nut Cheerios and toilet paper.
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Victor : What's going on here? What is it?
Daniel : I met someone.
Victor : You met someone?
Daniel : Yes.
Victor : What does that mean?
Daniel : A person. I met a person. There was a person, and I met her.
Victor : Her?
Daniel : Yes.
Victor : Hmm. I see. So it wasn't just someone you met. You... you met HER, a... FEMALE someone.
Daniel : I didn't do anything, Father.
Victor : No one says you did.
Daniel : Because I didn't.
Victor : Okay.
Daniel : So it doesn't matter if it was a female someone or a "her" if I didn't do anything, which I didn't, so it doesn't... matter.
Victor : Great.
Daniel : Terrific.
Victor : Glory be.
[starts walking away]
Daniel : I didn't do anything, Father.
Victor : Well, that's between you and God now, isn't it?
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Jane : But you did really sell the whole humorless, stodgy priest thing there.
Daniel : Yeah, we work on it in seminary, for years. Yeah, that and thurible swinging.
Jane : Thurible swinging?
Daniel : Yeah.
Jane : Sounds dirty.
Daniel : Uh, well, I mean...
Jane : Sorry. It's late, you're cute, I'm human.
Daniel : Can I... ask you a question?
Jane : Maybe.
Jane : The whole dying thing?
Jane : No.
Daniel : What?
Jane : Let's not.
Daniel : Come on.
Jane : You've got off-limits, you know, stuff, so do I.
Daniel : Well, we both know that you're not...
Jane : Daniel.
Daniel : I mean, you don't even look sick, like, at all.
Jane : It's late. I should go inside.
Daniel : Jane...
Jane : Thanks for walking me home.
Daniel : I-I-I-I-I didn't mean to... It's just... I don't know why we have to keep up with the, you know, charade.
Jane : Charade?
Daniel : No, that's not what I... I... I-I just mean... eh-eh-eh-eh, y-you don't... I mean, you look...
Jane : How?
Daniel : What?
Jane : How do I look?
Daniel : Well, no, I... I... I just...
Jane : I don't look frail...
[walking towards him, getting closer, while he's backing up]
Jane : helpless? I seem a bit too healthy? Well, I guess that's a testament to my formidable spirit.
[whispering in his ear]
Jane : Good night, friend.
[kisses him on the cheek]
Jane : [left to himself, thinking, stunned. voice over of a man singing Amazing Grace]
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Daniel : I don't see God. I don't think I ever have.
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Daniel : When do they put makeup on Jesus?
Jane : Have you looked at any of the crucifixes where he's got, like, blush on and some eyeliner?
Daniel : [laughs] It's hot in the sun.
Jane : Um, no. They're making him look pretty. He looks like a woman in some of those, which is not all that weird because, you know, maybe... , who knows?
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Daniel : ...if God ever does show up, I... I don't want to miss it.