Ryan Driller: Santa Claus

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Harry : Who the fuck are you dude. How do you know that?

  Santa Claus : This is not obvious? I'm fuckin' Santa Claus. Okay you guys need to help me. You need to really help me out. I need... I need a shot, something strong... with mint.

  [lays head on bar and passes out] 

• Santa Claus : [heard through the door]  Ho. Ho. Ho.

  Erica : Jim. what was that?

  Jim : I don't know. Sounded like it came from the kitchen.

  Erica : Oh my God, Jim, I'm so scared. What if it's the serial killer, the one that comes in the middle of the night?

  Jim : You mean like twelve o clock?

  Erica : Yes. The one that comes out at twelve. What other one?

  Jim : [checking his watch]  It's okay, it's only ten-thirty.

• Santa Claus : [opens door and walks in]  Merry Christmas, little Erica. I'm here with your present.

  Jim : Who the hell is this clown? Are you cheatin' on me?

  Erica : No, Jim, I have no idea who he is. I've never seen him before in my life.

  Santa Claus : Well, that's not entirely true. We've been seeing each other once a year since you were a little girl.

  Jim : You know what, Pedo, it's time for you to leave.

  Erica : But, I haven't given her my special present yet.