- Jay Pritchett: We have to go to the damn game. And they'll never believe any of our excuses ever again, even if they're true.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Unless...
- Manny Delgado: Why do you do that? Why do you just say "unless" and then pause? Just finish the thought.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: [Pulls out pellet gun] Unless Jay really gets shot in the foot.
- Jay Pritchett: I can't believe I'm saying this again, after seven years of marriage, but please put the gun away.
- Mitchell Pritchett: It's been a busy time at the house lately.
- Cameron Tucker: Fun busy.
- Mitchell Pritchett: I've been doing some work helping people with estates and wills. It's sadder than I thought It'd be.
- Cameron Tucker: Fun sad.
- Alex Dunphy: Need I remind you I am a yellow belt?
- Haley Dunphy: Ugh, I can't keep track of all your ugly belts.
- Cameron Tucker: Did you make the French toast?
- Mitchell Pritchett: Yes, it's right on the counter.
- Cameron Tucker: That's French toast.
- Mitchell Pritchett: What's happening?
- Cameron Tucker: I wanted regular toast for the French people.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Surely there was a better way to describe that.
- Haley Dunphy: Here's the thing. I had a similar experience with a roommate. She was this annoying little know-it-all who totally got on my nerves.
- Alex Dunphy: Yeah, I get it.
- Haley Dunphy: Oh, shhh! I spent a long time trying to get rid of her. Until I realized that little girl, in her own way, put me on a pedestal. It felt great. You just landed in a world of superstars, and I know you'd never admit it, but you're scared. It's not the worst thing to have your own personal cheerleader. I miss mine already.