- Robert Hanson: I mean, what if we'll never be able to be happy because our entire relationship was based on lies and betrayals so awful that karmically we're doomed?
- Sol Bergstein: Wow, you're more Jewish than I am.
- Robert Hanson: Well, we Catholics know our way around guilt, too.
- Sol Bergstein: I'm, as it turns out, a homosexual. And I'm married to another... homosexual.
- Frankie Bergstein: A good Christian homosexual.
- Sol Bergstein: Well, Catholic. Unfortunately, we're separated right now, mostly because I sinned... Heterosexually.
- Krystle: Uh-huh.
- Frankie Bergstein: What if he's building up unreal expectations about her? What if he's imagining a natural blonde, soprano, tiny little feet, who hums to birds?
- Grace Hanson: I'm pretty sure he knows his birth mother is not a cartoon princess.
- Peter: Oh, Robert, I'd love to feel sorry for you, but that job's been taken by you. Now, snap out of it.
- Krystle: So what kind of Christians are y'all?
- Frankie Bergstein: The Jewish kind.
- Krystle: Oh, the originals.