The Color of Magic (TV Mini Series)
Part 1: The Colour of Magic (2008)
David Jason: Rincewind
Photos
Quotes
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Rincewind : Where is your home?
Twoflower : Ah, have you heard of Bes Pelargic? It's the major seaport of the Agatean Empire.
Rincewind : That's the Counterweight Continent.
Twoflower : Yes! We may be small, but we're equal in weight to all the major land masses of this hemicircle.
[Rincewind nods skeptically]
Rincewind : [dismissively] Well that's because the ancient legend says that it's made of gold.
Twoflower : Well, it's not made of gold.
Rincewind : No.
Twoflower : Gold is just a really common metal there.
Rincewind : You might like to keep that to ourselves.
[He slowly turns around and notices that Broadman is right behind him]
-
Galder Weatherwax : Mr. Rincewind, there are, as you know, eight levels of wizardry to which the aspiring young... to which the student can aspire. In your not inconsiderable time here at the Unseen University, you have failed to reach even level one.
Rincewind : Ah, yes, but, you see...
Trymon : What the Arch Chancellor is trying to say is that, after decades of teaching you, patience seems not so much a virtue as a life sentence.
Rincewind : Oh, yes, but...
Trymon : There is simply no room for your kind of person in a modern university.
Galder Weatherwax : I feel...
Trymon : So you leave the Arch Chancellor no other course of action but to expel you.
[Rincewind looks back and forth between Weatherwax and Trymon, stunned]
Rincewind : But it's only been forty years.
[Trymon points his quill at Rincewind. Rincewind gives a horrified look at Weatherwax and shakes his head in disbelief. Weatherwax gives a "Yes, I'm afraid so" nod]
Galder Weatherwax : The hat.
[Rincewind looks at Trymon, who looks sternly at him. He feebly points at his hat, and as it dawns on him that he can't talk his way out of this, he removes it slowly and places it on the desk. He lays a hand on it, somewhat protectively]
Trymon : Goodbye, Mr. Rincewind.
[Rincewind glares at Trymon defiantly. Trymon grins at him, though it's more like a sneer. Rincewind snatches the hat from the desk and bolts out of the Archchancellor's office]
-
[Rincewind is hanging by his hands from a branch above a pack of snarling, growling wolves, and notices Death watching him from further up the tree]
Death : Your lifetime is up, Rincewind. I can't hang around all day.
Rincewind : [defiantly] I can. What have you done with the tourist?
Death : Nothing. He was lured by the attraction of the Wyrmberg.
Rincewind : So at least the Patrician won't be sending out his men to kill me just yet then?
Death : There is a distinct possibility that he may not need to.
[Rincewind looks at the wolves, then back up at Death]
Rincewind : What are you grinning at?
Death : Oh, I'm sorry. I can't help it. Now, would you be so kind as to let go? It won't hurt.
Rincewind : [indignantly] Won't hurt? Being torn apart by wolves won't hurt?
Death : It would be over very quickly. And of course, they are an endangered species.
-
[Rincewind, having been expelled from the Unseen University, is standing on the edge of the dock, weighing suicide. A blue light flashes in his eyes. He quickly covers his eyes]
Rincewind : Goodbye, world.
[He steps off the edge- and feels a thud. He's still alive, and being carried up and away from the River Ankh on an empty pallet]
Death : [to himself] Disappointing.
-
[Twoflower has just saved Rincewind from drowning and is pumping on the wizard's chest. Rincewind comes to and realizes who is kneeling over him]
Rincewind : Get off, will you?
Twoflower : Are you saying you want me to stop?
Rincewind : Yes! Stop, will you?
Twoflower : Stop saving your life? That's twice, now!
[Rincewind looks ashamed]
Rincewind : Oh. Thank you.
[His voice is drowned out by the roar of water pouring over the edge of the world]
Twoflower : Say again?
Rincewind : [louder] I said, thank you!
-
Rincewind : Thank you for another fine mess, Twoflower.
-
Rincewind : On balance, I know I should be very suspicious of that boat, but I do like the idea of getting back to dry land.
Twoflower : Are you sure?
[Rincewind walks towards the boat and gets sprayed in the face with sea foam. He turns back to Twoflower with an annoyed look on his face]
Rincewind : I'm sure.
