The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)

Michael Landon/John Mendoza/Thelma Houston (1989)

Johnny Carson: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Johnny announces the last item in the "Believe It or Stuff It" segment, the audience applauds; following the joke, a man in the back of the audience yells "Stuff it!"] 

  Johnny Carson : There's a man who knows comedy!

• Johnny Carson : [after a series of Believe It or Stuff It! jokes bomb]  Gee whiz - this really sucks!

  [audience laughter/cheers] 

  Johnny Carson : I don't know what it is... it SEEMS like a good idea. Let's, don't give up on it! Why should we give up on it?

• Johnny Carson : [on Bonanza]  You guys never had any girlfriends in there, uh, at all, did you?

  Michael Landon : Huh?

  Johnny Carson : There were four grown men in that; you never had any girlfriends... Out on that ranch, all by yourself. I'm not intimating...

  Michael Landon : There were a lot of rumors... A lot of rumors about that - there were.

  Johnny Carson : I just wondered; I mean, you...

  Michael Landon : There were a lot of rumors about the Cartwrights being homosexual. There were a great deal of rumors.

  Johnny Carson : No, I - I didn't mean that. I wasn't...

  Michael Landon : And, uh - and I am here to set the record straight: We were not... Thank god Hop Sing was, but, uh...

• Johnny Carson : [in the monologue]  Scientists predicted this week, I'm not making this stuff up, that, uh, because of the world's population expanding, that we may have to resort, within the next twenty years, to insects as a main source of food. Now, how many of you would go along with that? Honestly?

  [audience groans] 

  Johnny Carson : Well, McDonald's already... has got, has got a new menu standing by if this takes off. It's an Insect Fun Meal: It's a Bug Mac with a side order of Flies.