Santa Clarita Diet (TV Series)
So Then a Bat or A Monkey (2017)
Timothy Olyphant: Joel Hammond
Photos
Quotes
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Joel : You know, 15 years ago, I would have punched you, once. I might have dropped you. If not, you would have beaten the hell out of me, 'cause I just had the one move, and you're a substantial man. But now I have a family, a career, a life. I'm not gonna be the guy who gets into bar fights.
Gary West : You mean loses bar fights.
Joel : You're missing my point.
Gary West : You don't wanna get into a fight because you're afraid you might lose.
Joel : That is exactly wrong. The losing is a given...
Gary West : Damn straight.
Joel : And it's irrelevant.
Gary West : You mean inevitable.
Joel : Goddamn it, you're frustrating. At this point in my life, I'm not gonna be the kind of person...
Gary West : ...who wins a bar fight.
Joel : God fuck, what's the matter with you?
Gary West : You are.
Joel : I'm trying to explain a very simple concept.
Gary West : You are.
Joel : I'm just gonna call this a draw and go home.
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Gary West : Is there a problem?
Joel : Oh, God, not you.
Gary West : Look, Joel, obviously you're upset, but if Sheila doesn't wanna go with you.
Joel : Shut up, Gary. Sheila...
Sheila Hammond : Life should be fun, honey. And I don't care what Consumer Reports says, that car is hot.
Gary West : She wants to have fun, Joel.
Joel : And doesn't care what Consumer Reports says. I heard her, Gary.
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[first lines]
Sheila Hammond : [laying in bed] Joel...
Joel : Shh. No words, my love.
Sheila Hammond : I'm sorry, babe, I'm just not really a "pound one out" kind of gal.
Joel : I know, and that's great. You like romance and lavender candles, and a massage with essential oils, and a wonderful meal but not too heavy.
Sheila Hammond : You're making fun of me. No. I'm only saying that sometimes, maybe even now, we might try...
Joel : Humping? Like that rescue dog did to that little girl at the Rite Aid?
