- Angus MacGyver: Give me your phone.
- Jack Dalton: No way, man. Every time I hand you my phone, I end up at the Genius Bar explaining to them why my phone's glued to a football or wired to a vacuum cleaner. Use yours.
- Jack Dalton: Drowning in quicksand? This ain't gonna be fun, bro. This has gotta be, like, one of the worst ways to die.
- Angus MacGyver: Well, you'll be happy to know that most people don't even die from drowning in quicksand. It's a colloid hydrogel. It's made of sand, clay and water.
- Jack Dalton: I was wrong. Drowning in quicksand while getting a science lecture - that's the worst way to die.
- Matty Webber: Four days ago, Deckard was stopped in St. Louis for speeding. When police checked his trunk, they found three body bags, a shovel and a whole lot of bleach.
- Angus MacGyver: To be fair, though, there's, like, 12 different things he could've been doing with that.
- [Matty glares at Mac]
- Angus MacGyver: Yeah, you're right, though, he's probably just burying bodies.