Mick Foley: Commissioner Mick Foley

Quotes 

• Triple H : Mick, I cannot get in the ring with Kurt Angle as my tag-team partner. I mean, I know you've got head trauma; hell, I've caused most of your head trauma. But even you have to realize, after what happened Monday, after my wife getting bruised and beaten, I cannot get in the ring with Kurt Angle as my partner without tearing him apart.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Hunter, I want you to tear him apart! I'm sick of Kurt Angle, as well. But nonetheless, if you interfere, if you get physical with Kurt, you're out of your match at Unforgiven.

  Triple H : Why?

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Why? Because it's gonna be a match I want to referee in. It *will* be that damn good. It's a match I want our fans to see. Maybe I stepped in and messed with your marriage, maybe I'm to blame. But nonetheless, it's gotta be that way because I'm the commissioner, and because I said so!

• The Rock : Seeing as The Rock didn't say it on Monday night, he's saying it tonight. Finally, The Rock has come back to Phoenix!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  The Rock : Now, Mick Foley, The Rock will make this short and sweet. If you think that going in to Unforgiven The Rock is a targeted man, well, you're absolutely right. But if you think that The Rock isn't gonna make it to Unforgiven, you're wrong. You actually think that The Rock is gonna get taken out before Unforgiven and unable to defend his WWF title? Is that what you think? Well, Mick Foley, with all due respect, The Rock wipes a lobster's left testicle with what you think. The only thing that matters is that you get the Undertaker, get Kane, get Chris Benoit, and The Rock will do exactly what he does best, and that's layeth the smacketh down on ALLLLL their candy asses!

  Commissioner Mick Foley : It's something that you just said that has me a little bit concerned, and that is lobsters don't have testicles, Rock. And I know because I have looked. Speaking of looking, I want you to look up there at some footage that I saw in the back on Monday night that concerns us all.

  [a clip from "Raw" of The Rock and the Undertaker backstage is shown on the OvalTron] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Now, you saw it, too, Rock. There is a look about the Undertaker and I can't explain exactly what it is, but I know it scares the hell out of me, and I know it's the same look he had in June of 1998 when he threw me of the top of the Hell in the...

  [he's interrupted by the Undertaker's entrance music] 

  The Undertaker : You know, Foley, I ain't the kind of guy that hides his feelings well. And just because me and The Rock, we ain't friends, that doesn't mean I'm gonna take him out. Just because me and Austin never seen eye-to-eye doesn't mean that I'm gonna mow him down with a car. But make no mistake about it, I am the kind of guy that gets what he wants, and what I want right now...

  [turning to The Rock] 

  The Undertaker : You have.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey. 'Taker, 'Taker. And you'll get a chance to get what he's got, but not until Unforgiven. At Unforgiven, you'll step in the ring with The Rock, and you feel free to battle for the richest prize in our sport.

• Kurt Angle : Mick, I'm sorry to interrupt, but all of this is nonsense. I mean, WWF championships can be won and lost at any time. It's not like, say, Olympic gold medals, which can forever brand you as a winner. What I'm trying to say is, although all this is important, it pales in comparison to the bigger issue here, and that is the health of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Last Monday night, Stephanie was brutally attacked again by her husband, Triple H. Let's take a look at what I mean.

  [a clip from Monday night is shown] 

  Kurt Angle : Now, look at this. This is terrible. I mean, Mick, look at that. You talk about outrageous. Now, I know I can control myself until Unforgiven, but I seriously have my doubts about Triple H. I mean, he says he loves his wife Stephanie, but look what he did to her there. It's true. It's true.

  [Triple H's music hits, and as he enters the ring ready for a fight, Mick restrains him] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Triple, H, Triple H! Hold on, hold on! Damn it, hold on! Hold on. I do have a plan, and it's a good one. And just let me say it. Just let me say it. I know you want to tear Kurt Angle apart, and believe me, I don't blame you.

  [indicating the Rock and the Undertaker] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And if you two, and if all of you, want to destroy each other at Unforgiven, that's great. But to ensure that it won't happen until then, to ensure that you won't destroy each other, tonight you will team up with each other. No, it's the only way. So I propose, no, I'm not proposing, I am saying there will be a series of matches, with the team of T&A facing the team of Triple H and Kurt Angle. And the team of Kane and Benoit taking on the Acolytes, and that match will be an Acolytes Rules match, which means pretty much there are no rules. Undertaker, Rock, the two of you also will team up one more time, right here in Phoenix, Arizona!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And you'll be taking on the tag team of the Dudley Boyz. And because there seems to be an awful lot of aggression here in this ring, I'm going to make that match a table match. If any of you refuse to work together as a team, and if there's anyone who decides to get physical with their partner during their match, that person is out of their match at Unforgiven. That's the way it's going to be, and that, Kurt Angle, is final.

  Kurt Angle : You know something, Mick, that's fine with me. But I'd like for you to add an amendment to that. Not only should we not have any physical contact with each other, but I don't think anyone and their spouses should have any contact with each other, as well. Because let's face it, it can only lead to trouble, if you know what I mean.

• Commissioner Mick Foley : Now, I know a few months ago, when Vince McMahon left to become a genetic jackhammer, and his wife Linda made me the WWF commissioner...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Thank you. That a lot of people thought I had absolute power and answered to nobody. And while that's largely true, it's not exactly true, because I do answer to somebody, and that somebody are the fans of the World Wrestling Federation.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And believe me, I'm not just saying that to suck up, because if I wanted to suck up, I'd say, "That somebody includes the fans right here in Phoenix, Arizona!"

  [the crowd cheers louder] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : So, in listening to the fans and in giving them what I thought they wanted to see on Monday night, I set two matches for Unforgiven. One, Triple H versus Kurt Angle...

  [a mixture of cheers and boos] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...with your WWF commissioner as special referee. And second, I made a fatal four-way match involving Kane, the Undertaker, Chris Benoit, and The Rock.

  [the crowd cheers at The Rock's name] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : That sounds great, there's only one problem. You see, I don't think the participants in those two matches can keep their hands off each other until Unforgiven. I think Triple H, Kurt Angle, Benoit, Kane, the Undertaker, and The Rock would tear each other apart, thereby ruining our pay-per-view and putting me in a position where I would be forced to have Al Snow in our main event. And no one, AND THE MICK MEANS NO ONE, wants to see that happen. So what I've done is I have come up with a special plan. A foolproof plan to ensure that all the participants make it to Unforgiven, and I'd like to express that plan to everybody right now.