- Raj Koothrappali: [Cynthia watches a video from her drone's memory card] Stop flying it around. You're gonna break it.
- Howard Wolowitz: Why do you care?
- Raj Koothrappali: Because we have to give it back to the beautiful mystery girl.
- Cynthia: Aw.
- Raj Koothrappali: I mean, did you see how hot she was? I want to get all up in that and start making babies!
- [her face distorts in disgust]
- Raj Koothrappali: I know exactly what underwear I'm gonna wear on our first date. None!
- Raj Koothrappali: [relaxing in Howard's jacuzzi] Oh, this is the life. What could be better than this?
- Howard Wolowitz: If you weren't wearing one of my swimsuits.
- Raj Koothrappali: I'll give it back.
- Howard Wolowitz: You know the rule. Once it touches heinie, it's no longer miney.
- Raj Koothrappali: You're such a prude. Do you know all the things this water's touching right now?
- Howard Wolowitz: [getting out] Well, I'm relaxed enough.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Look, there are a bunch of other tenants in this buiding. All you need is for one of them to vote your way, and then Sheldon's out and I didn't betray him.
- Penny Hofstadter: Hey, you know, that's actually a good plan.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That you came up with all by yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, told Sheldon I was going to the market, so... I'm taking some of your stuff.
- [she takes a few items from the fridge]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [leaving] I was never here.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sometimes you don't see it 'cause she's next to Sheldon, but she's pretty weird.
- Sheldon Cooper: How can I focus on my work when all I can think about is how much I want that sandwich?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: So go get one.
- Sheldon Cooper: I can't just give into every urge I have when I have it. That's why I have a rigid schedule. It's bad enough I had to give in to my urge to create a rigid schedule.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, why don't I just go down to the food truck and ask them to move?
- Sheldon Cooper: Why are you taking cash?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No reason.
- Penny Hofstadter: So, let me get this straight. You are the president of the tenants' association?
- Sheldon Cooper: President, only member, and harshest critic. I once gave myself an official reprimand for conducting a meeting in the shower. The steam warped my gavel.
- Penny Hofstadter: Okay, so when I got a fine for leaving my clothes in the dryer for too long, that was from you?
- Sheldon Cooper: $14.99. The exact price of a new gavel.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And the noise complaint we got for singing you "Happy Birthday"?
- Sheldon Cooper: As a friend, I was touched. As a representative of the building, I thought that you should pick a key and stick with it.
- Penny Hofstadter: Do you know he is the entire tenants' association?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No, but I'm not surprised. He's also the pope of a planet he invented in hyperspace.
- [to Sheldon]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Why didn't you tell me?
- Sheldon Cooper: 'Cause I wanted to make sure that you loved the man, not the office.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You can't just declare yourself president.
- Sheldon Cooper: I didn't. I called a meeting, I was the only one to attend. I nominated myself, and after a pretty moving speech, I voted myself in.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Don't be mad at me. I mean, I can't vote against him.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, even when he's being crazy?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, what other times are there?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's not your fault. I mean, what man wouldn't be seduced by the power to decide how late the laundry room stays open?
- Penny Hofstadter: Wait, you're the reason I had to come back and get my jeans the next morning?
- Sheldon Cooper: I can't believe you expect me to give that up!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't know.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Think about "Ant-Man".
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm always thinking about "Ant-Man"!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Michael Douglas had the suit, and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.
- Sheldon Cooper: Maybe you're right.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? The "Ant-Man" thing? That's what won you over?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, I think you're forgetting that the sandwich was invented by John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh! The truck's called "Pearl of Sandwich." Now I get it.
- Howard Wolowitz: All right, that smells too good. I got to get one of those.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: And I think you're forgetting that there are written documents of meat between bread being eating in China during the Tang dynasty.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You know what? I think I'll go with you. And then maybe we just go home.
- Sheldon Cooper: I can smell that food truck from up here.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Just close the window if you don't like the smell.
- Sheldon Cooper: Of course I like the smell. It's salt and fat. My brain may be evolved, but my tongue still wants to pick up a club and drag that truck back to my cave.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: So there's something you like, but it's also driving you crazy. Been there, doing it now.
- Penny Hofstadter: The pastrami truck moved.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [not really listening] That is the danger of a restaurant on wheels.
- Penny Hofstadter: No, apparently someone complained to the tenants' association, and they're not allowed to park on our street anymore.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Who would complain about something that everyone loves?
- [realizing who it must be]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh...
- Leonard Hofstadter: Did you complain to the tenants' association about the food truck?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- Penny Hofstadter: And they actually took you seriously?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, the tenants' association takes every complaint seriously.
- Penny Hofstadter: [on her phone] Oh, great, because I'm about to send them an e-mail complaining about you.
- Sheldon Cooper: [his phone chimes] Excuse me.
- [reading the message]
- Sheldon Cooper: Wow. Someone should have spell-checked.
- Penny Hofstadter: What is going on here?
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're the tenants' association?
- Sheldon Cooper: [amused] You should see the look on your face. You might want to tell your wife that there's no "Y" in "pastrami".
- Penny Hofstadter: Ugh, I can't believe my best friend sided with Sheldon.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I can't believe my best friend *is* Sheldon. Ah, I should have taken that gavel and shoved it right down his throat.
- Penny Hofstadter: Ugh. I would've gone the other way, but it would've gotten to his throat.
- Raj Koothrappali: [looking at the drone's memory card] I hope there's nothing disturbing on there.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Like you two in a hot tub?
- Penny Hofstadter: So, Mrs. Petrescu, we were hoping you would vote for Leonard instead of voting for Sheldon.
- Mrs. Petrescu: Vote Sheldon.
- Penny Hofstadter: No, no. Vote Leonard.
- Mrs. Petrescu: No vote Leonard.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. Vote Leonard.
- Mrs. Petrescu: Thank you.
- Howard Wolowitz: She's wearing a pin from your store. Do you know who she is?
- Stuart Bloom: Oh, sure, yeah. That's Cynthia.
- Raj Koothrappali: Wha- so... so, she's a customer?
- Stuart Bloom: Yeah, yeah, but I-I haven't seen her in a while. And before you say anything, there's a lot of reasons women stop coming here. It's not just me.
- Howard Wolowitz: But this time...
- Stuart Bloom: I-It was me, yeah. I was trying out a flirty new smile.
- [he demonstrates a strained smile]
- Howard Wolowitz: Now, I don't use the word "ghoulish" a lot, but... I-I just can't think of another word.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, I have an advanced degree in the study of the human brain, so if my fiancé is a raving lunatic, it's kind of a ding on my reputation.
- Sheldon Cooper: If leaders just stepped aside every time they didn't have the consent of the governed, what would we have?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Democracy.
- Sheldon Cooper: Not on my watch.
- Sheldon Cooper: I suppose it is time I passed this on to Leonard.
- Penny Hofstadter: Thank you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, thanks. I-I know that's hard for you.
- Sheldon Cooper: It was. But you know what? Instead of being in charge, I can now be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I think you'll be really good at that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Me, too.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I think I've made a huge mistake.
- Penny Hofstadter: Me, too.
- Howard Wolowitz: Can't believe you got her number.
- Raj Koothrappali: I know, right? How amazing would it be if this worked out and the story of how I met my wife started with you and me in the hot tub together?
- Howard Wolowitz: Well, do us both a favor and start the story later.
- Sheldon Cooper: Why are you wearing a Band-Aid?
- Raj Koothrappali: Halley bit me.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [laughing] You got beaten up by a girl.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hey, that's sexist.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're right.
- [he laughs again]
- Leonard Hofstadter: You got beaten up by a baby.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What you got there?
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, I grabbed a sandwich at the food truck out front.
- Sheldon Cooper: Wait, n-now hold on. Tonight is Friday, and I believe you know what that means.
- Penny Hofstadter: That my fun, young life took a drastic turn somewhere?
- Sheldon Cooper: No.
- Leonard Hofstadter: But yeah.
- Sheldon Cooper: No, that means it's Chinese food night.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, and you have Chinese food, so eat it.
- Sheldon Cooper: But I can smell your pastrami.
- Howard Wolowitz: And we can all hear your complaining, so no one's happy.
- Sheldon Cooper: What is happening? Everybody's supposed to be eating Chinese food.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, actually, I believe the Chinese may have invented the sandwich. Their dish "rou jia mo" literally means "meat between bread." So it looks like all of us, including Penny, are eating Chinese food.
- Raj Koothrappali: Except for you, Sheldon. You're eating crow.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, Howard, look. What's that?
- Howard Wolowitz: Huh. Looks like someone's drone.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, no. Do you think it was spying on us in the hot tub? 'Cause I'm only 40% of the way to my beach bod.
- Howard Wolowitz: Okay, that ought to do it. I replaced the propeller and re-attached the gimbal controller unit.
- Raj Koothrappali: Dude, you're like "Grey's Anatomy" for robots. Also, why isn't that a show?
- Howard Wolowitz: I just need to see if I can re-sync the controls to this old remote.
- Raj Koothrappali: We should name it.
- Howard Wolowitz: What, the drone or your stupid robot show?
- Raj Koothrappali: The drone. The show's already got a name: "General Bot-spital".
- Howard Wolowitz: I got it working!
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, oh! Let's play William Tell. I'll put this bowl on my head. See if you can knock it off without hitting me.
- Howard Wolowitz: You read my mind.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [entering] What are you doing?
- Howard Wolowitz: Either breaking a bowl or breaking Raj's head.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Be careful. They don't make that bowl anymore.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Aren't you worried there's some kid out there missing his drone?
- Raj Koothrappali: Uh, oh, please, Bernadette, this is not a children's toy, okay? This thing's got a HD camera on it.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Okay, then aren't you worried there's some rich peeping Tom out there missing his drone?
- Howard Wolowitz: We asked around, and no one claimed it. I think we've done all we can do.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Did you check the video card? Maybe you can see where it started off from.
- Howard Wolowitz: [sarcastic] What a great idea, honey.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well, if you can vote yourself in, then we can vote you out.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Sheldon Cooper: Fine. Make a motion at the next meeting.
- Leonard Hofstadter: When is it?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's the first Saturday of every month. Unless there's an emergency meeting.
- Penny Hofstadter: Then we call an emergency meeting.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, you really don't have to. This is the first Saturday of the month.
- Leonard Hofstadter: We vote you out.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hold on. Hold on. First, we have to read the minutes from last month's meeting. Amy, would you do the honors?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [taking the tablet he offers] Why not? "Saturday, March 3rd. 7:05, meeting called to order. 7:06, president gets shampoo in eye. 7:07, meeting adjorned."
- Penny Hofstadter: Okay, can we vote you out now?
- Sheldon Cooper: Ah, very well. New business.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I move for a vote of no confidence in the president.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Two to one, you lose.
- Sheldon Cooper: Not so fast. I believe we can one tenant here who has not made her voice heard.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [everyone turns to look at her] Oh...
- Sheldon Cooper: We're waiting, fiancée.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, we're waiting, best friend.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, we're waiting, neighbor who... needed a battery and totally got one from me, no strings attached.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't want to be in the middle of this. No matter which way I vote, I'm either a bad friend, a bad fiancée, or an ungrateful recipient of a battery.
- Sheldon Cooper: Next time I have a meeting in the shower, you're welcome to attend.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon! Sheldon for president! I pick Sheldon!
- Penny Hofstadter: So you just let him get away with anything?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, not anything. But honestly, "pastrami sandwich" is not the hill I want to die on.
- Penny Hofstadter: It's not about the sandwich. It's about the principle.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, principle. And a little bit sandwich.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: That's not very much to go on.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, that's plenty to go on. We can't give up. We got to find her.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You just want to find her 'cause she's cute.
- Raj Koothrappali: Not just because she's cute. She also owns a pretty expensive drone, which means she has money and doesn't mind wasting it. And I... I like that in a woman.
- Howard Wolowitz: Do you see anything that could help us locate her?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Hmm, let me have a look.
- Howard Wolowitz: She's got eagle eyes, always spotting continuity errors in movies. It's not annoying at all.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh. There. Right there. Check out the pin on her jacket. It's that from the comic book store?
- Raj Koothrappali: Hmm, is it? Hey, Howard, zoom in.
- Howard Wolowitz: Oh. Fine. Zooming in.
- [making a whooshing sound, he holds the laptop up to Raj's face]
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, I know you're being a jerk, but it's actually helpful.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So, I'm running for president of the tenants' association, and I could really use your vote.
- Wendell: Uh, who's president now?
- Penny Hofstadter: Uh, Sheldon Cooper. You know, about yea tall and about yea annoying.
- [holding her arms as wide as she can]
- Wendell: So you want me to vote against Sheldon Cooper?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. You just need to show up at a meeting...
- Wendell: Oh, no, no. No can do. He's got a restraining order against me.
- Penny Hofstadter: Really? Why?
- Wendell: Uh, I locked him on the roof once.
- [mouthing]
- Wendell: Three times.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, please let me bring the drone back to her.
- Howard Wolowitz: You think you've got a shot? What if she's married?
- Stuart Bloom: She's not.
- Raj Koothrappali: It's meant to be.
- Stuart Bloom: A little tip. Uh, stick with the smiles you know.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hi. What are you doing?
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard and Penny are trying to turn the tenants against me, so there are about to see just what kind of power the president of the tenants' association wields.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [picking up a poster he's made] "You must be at least this tall to use washing machine"?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm gonna hang it up higher than Leonard. And then his clothes will smell. And nobody's voting for a man with smelly clothes. No, not when there's a perfectly unscented incumbent on the ballot.
- Cynthia: Hey, you found my drone.
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, yeah. Yes. It took a while to track you down, but to see the look on your face, it was worth it.
- Raj Koothrappali: [returning Cynthia's drone to her] Rajesh.
- Cynthia: [shaking hands] Cynthia.
- Raj Koothrappali: Ah, please to meet you.
- Cynthia: Likewise.
- [awkward silence]
- Cynthia: I-I feel like I should give you a reward or something.
- Raj Koothrappali: Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
- Cynthia: I insist.
- Raj Koothrappali: How about your phone number?
- Cynthia: Give me your phone.
- Raj Koothrappali: [he does so, and she programs her number] Thanks. So, I'll-I'll call you, Cynthia.
- Cynthia: Great, Rajesh. And thanks again.
- Raj Koothrappali: Sure.
- [he's barely walked away when her phone rings]
- Raj Koothrappali: Just checking!
- Leonard Hofstadter: We found something pretty interesting.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [transparently] Huh. Well, that is suprising. I, for one, have no idea what they're talking about.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Turns out when Amy took over Penny's apartment, she was put on the lease, not you.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, and when I moved across the hall, you got taken off the lease and I got added.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, what are you saying? That Sheldon's not technically a tenant at all and therefore has no standing to be president of the tenants' association, no matter who votes for him? I don't know how you found that out, but I am guessing all on your own.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So, looks like we need to figure out who the new president should be. I nominate myself.
- Penny Hofstadter: I second it.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Huh. Well, as a woman in love, I want to stand by my man. Too bad that's been rendered bureaucratically impossible.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, this is hard for me, because I do love a legal technicality, and this is a good one. Although, not quite as good as the provision in California law, which states a person who occupies a dwelling for thirty consecutive days becomes a tenant at will, and as such...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I vote for Leonard!
- Sheldon Cooper: You... what?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry, Sheldon. With minimal power comes minimal responsibility, and you couldn't handle it.
- Sheldon Cooper: Don't you misquote "Spider-Man" to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I think you're defining "bread" very loosely. If we go down that road, where does it end?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, I would say when we go to bed, but you talk in your sleep.
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't want to get into this with you right now. We'll talk about this when I'm asleep.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [as they argue, Leonard, Penny, and Raj leave] I don't want to talk about when you're asleep. How come we can't talk about it now?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, because I'm eating now.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Fine. How's your moo shoo?
- Sheldon Cooper: You know what? It's great.
- [picking up his food]
- Sheldon Cooper: Wait, look at that. Hmm. Well, maybe the Chinese did invent the sandwich. I guess you were right.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [seeing everyone is gone] Too bad no one's around to hear it.