Santa Clarita Diet (TV Series)
No Family Is Perfect (2018)
Timothy Olyphant: Joel Hammond
Photos
Quotes
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Joel Hammond : Hello. I purchased a foot here two weeks ago.
Orderly Barton : Yeah, sure, I remember. How'd that work out for you?
Joel Hammond : Excellent. Thank you. I'm looking for something very specific.
Orderly Barton : I have a vagina I can sell you for 500. It's a little past its "best-use-by" date, but it'll get 'er done.
Joel Hammond : Dear God! Who comes here?
Orderly Barton : Brace yourself: mostly men.
Joel Hammond : I need a fresh gallbladder, but it has to be from someone who's Serbian.
Orderly Barton : God, what are you into? I love it. Come on in. Let's take a look around, you sick fuck.
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Joel Hammond : Our kitchen looks like the inside of a shark.
Sheila Hammond : Well, I admit it went on a little longer than necessary... and then 10 minutes after that.
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Joel Hammond : When I was at the asylum...
Abby Hammond : Don't say "asylum." It sounds like they sent you to the 19th century.
Joel Hammond : OK. When I was at the "time-out" resort...