- Jack Decker Jr.: This is truly an assault on men's rights, and we must prevent this white - this male genocide.
- Jack Decker Jr.: Mr. President, I suggest you cower back to your desk and - while I alone save us from this threat, you shithead.
- General Cotter: Well, Decker, I've known Janet for 40 years, and with all the best military intelligence in the world, I had no idea she was in cahoots with Dracula.
- Jack Decker Jr.: Dr. Cotter, you are a good man, but the military is underfunded. We need our tax dollars going towards the military, not, uh, welfare queens.