Santa Clarita Diet (TV Series)
The Queen of England (2018)
Timothy Olyphant: Joel Hammond
Photos
Quotes
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Joel Hammond : I'm thinking about this for the design.
Sheila Hammond : Those are the bookshelves in the Nazi's house. You wanna build Nazi bookshelves?
Joel Hammond : The bookshelves weren't Nazis. If anything, those shelves were Nazi-occupied.
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Joel Hammond : What the fuckity-fuck is that?
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Gary West : Sure, Sheila's got a lot going on. Her life's always gonna be bigger than yours. It's like It's like being married to the Queen of England.
Joel Hammond : It's not exactly like that.
Gary West : You got two ways of looking at it. Either it's, "My needs are always gonna come second" or "Jesus Christ, I'm fucking the Queen of England!"
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Abby Hammond : You wanted me to have a normal life? This is it. This is who I am now. I'm the fucking Queen of England.
Joel Hammond : OK, that's not the expression.
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Gary West : I've been thinking about it, and I want to live to see Kayla turn her life around. I want to see Hailey grow up.
Joel Hammond : You're a talking head in a flower vase.
Gary West : Still better looking than you, buddy!
Joel Hammond : Not in a swimsuit.
Sheila Hammond : Guys! How do you have so much testosterone without balls?
Gary West : She asked you a question, Joel.
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Joel Hammond : I realize it's not their fault, but fucking Serbia! Other than tennis players, has anything good come out of that country?
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Ramona : But I want a Joel! And not just to hunt with. I want what you two have. I don't want to do this alone anymore.
Sheila Hammond : Oh, sweetie. Well, you can't just grab someone off the street and have what we have.
Ramona : Why not?
Sheila Hammond : Because Joel and I built a life together. We spent 20 years learning to care for each other. And lately, I've done nothing but bring chaos to his life. And does he complain? Often. But that's OK 'cause he's given up so much for me.
Joel Hammond : But when you love someone, that doesn't matter. Because it's not about what you give up, it's about what you get. And I don't complain that much.
