Young Sheldon (TV Series)

Poker, Faith and Eggs (2017)

Zoe Perry: Mary Cooper

Quotes 

• Pastor Jeff : Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, how do you know there's a God?" And I say "It's simple math. God either exists or he doesn't." So let's be cynical. Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance, And I like those odds.

  Sheldon : [raising his hand]  That's wrong.

  Mary : [sotto voce]  Shelly, put your hand down.

  [to Pastor Jeff] 

  Mary : Sorry, Please continue.

  Pastor Jeff : That's okay, Mary. It's Sheldon, right?

  Sheldon : Yes, sir.

  Pastor Jeff : Well, Sheldon, why don't you come on up here and tell me why I'm wrong.

  Mary : No!

  Sheldon : Okay.

  [heads on up] 

  Pastor Jeff : Let's give him a hand, everybody.

  Missy : [waking up]  What's happening?

  Meemaw : [to Mary]  Shelly's gonna eat him alive.

  Pastor Jeff : So, you were saying?

  Sheldon : You've confused possibilities with probabilities. According to your analogy, when I go home I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. In what universe is that 50-50?

  Pastor Jeff : So, what do you think the odds are that God exists?

  Sheldon : I think they're zero. I believe in science.

  Pastor Jeff : So you don't think science and God can go hand in hand?

  Sheldon : Science is facts, religion is faith. I prefer facts

  Pastor Jeff : Mm. I understand that. Here's a cool fact for ya. A lot of famous scientists believed in God. Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, even Charles Darwin.

  Sheldon : So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution?

  Pastor Jeff : Now you're gettin' it. Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody! What a good sport.

  Sheldon : [v.o]  But I wasn't a good sport. At that moment, I vowed to come back the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff.

• Pastor Jeff : I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. Now, everybody knows how on the first day of creation God said "Let there be light." And there was light. And when God saw that light, he knew that it was good.

  Meemaw : [Sees Sheldon raise his hand]  Oh, here we go.

  Pastor Jeff : Yes, Sheldon?

  Sheldon : You said he didn't create the sun until day four.

  Pastor Jeff : Yeah.

  Sheldon : So how could there be light the first three days?

  Pastor Jeff : God is light.

  Sheldon : So God's a photon?

  Pastor Jeff : God's what made photons possible.

  Sheldon : And what day did he do that?

  Pastor Jeff : I would think day one.

  George Sr. : [softly, to Mary]  If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.

  Mary : [softly to George Sr]  That's a terrible thing to say.

  Pastor Jeff : ...because the first day had just begun.

  Sheldon : So, before the Big Bang?

  Pastor Jeff : There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.

  Sheldon : Was the word "kaboom"?

  Mary : [softly to George Sr]  Okay, do it.

  [George Sr. feigns chest pains] 

  Mary : We gotta go.