- Missy: It's gonna be weird here without Sheldon.
- Georgie: Don't you mean less weird?
- Meemaw: That's not nice.
- Georgie: I wasn't trying for nice.
- Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
- Georgie: Hey, I got plans of my own.
- Meemaw: Do tell.
- Georgie: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
- Meemaw: That's hilarious.
- Georgie: What? I'm good-lookin'.
- Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
- Missy: The model thing was funny, too.
- Meemaw: Well, I don't understand how you could turn this down. This place looks fantastic.
- Mary: It's 200 miles away, mom.
- Meemaw: I know where Dallas is. I used to buy my marijuana there.
- George Sr.: Really?
- Meemaw: I said "used to". Then I got pregnant with this one and all the fun stopped. All I am saying is that this would be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
- Mary: I know. You're right.
- George Sr.: Whoa, she's right? I said the same thing in Petersen's office, you looked at me like I was an idiot.
- [Mary glares at him]
- George Sr.: Yeah, that's the look.
- Missy: You awake?
- Sheldon: Yes.
- Missy: Are you gonna miss me?
- Sheldon: I haven't given it any thought.
- Missy: Well, we're just lying here. Think about it.
- Sheldon: I am used to you.
- Missy: I'm used to you, too.
- Sheldon: It's not the same as liking you.
- Missy: No.
- Sheldon: To me, you're like string beans. No one asks for them, no one wonders about them. They're just there on the plate.
- Missy: But you eat them, right?
- Sheldon: Yes.
- Missy: [smiling] You're gonna miss me.
- Sheldon: Sleep didn't come easy that night, knowing that at any moment, I could be decapitated. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the bed in my room had a dust ruffle, which to my young mind, only meant one thing: there was dust. But eventually I did drift off, haunted by the memory, the three of us gathered around the piano singing hippie folk music.
- [over Flora and Elliot singing "The Mighty Quinn"]
- Sheldon: "You'll not see nothin." Shame on whoever wrote that.
- Sheldon: Dad?
- George Sr.: Yeah?
- Sheldon: I'm glad you came to get me.
- George Sr.: Me, too.
- [George turns on the radio; Sheldon bolts up upon hearing "The Mighty Quinn"]
- Sheldon: No!
- Principal Petersen: First of all, I want to thank you both for coming.
- Mary: Yeah, yeah, what'd he do?
- Principal Petersen: Uh, he didn't do anything.
- George Sr.: Gosh, Tom, I want to believe you.
- Principal Petersen: Okay, the problem is the curriculum here is not challenging enough for Sheldon. Now, he gets bored and maybe doesn't express himself in the most productive way.
- Mary: So you're saying he's being rude to his teachers?
- George Sr.: That's unacceptable. I'll... I'll give him a talking-to.
- Principal Petersen: I don't know if I'd call him rude.
- Mary: Well, put a word on it.
- Principal Petersen: Rude. Let's go with rude. Rude is good.
- Principal Petersen: I want you to consider another approach to his education.
- George Sr.: Okay.
- Mary: What does that mean?
- Principal Petersen: I recently had a nice chat with the head of Wilmont Academy for Gifted Children. Now, I told her all about Sheldon, and she seemed to think he would be a perfect fit over there.
- Mary: We already looked into private school. We can't afford it.
- George Sr.: Well, not unless you're giving me a raise.
- Principal Petersen: I'm not.
- George Sr.: Okay. Just checking.
- Mary: Look, we appreciate you going to bat for him, but he's just a wee little thing. We can't ship him off to Dallas.
- George Sr.: Well, shouldn't we talk about this first?
- Mary: What's there to talk about, George?
- George Sr.: This could be a great opportunity for Sheldon.
- Mary: He's nine years old.
- George Sr.: Oh, come on, you can't measure him in Earth years.
- Mary: You're saying he's an alien?
- Principal Petersen: Well, in George's defense, that idea has been tossed around...
- [George non-verbally warns him to stop]
- Principal Petersen: ...a little bit. That's a bad joke. Look, I understand this is a big decision. If you change your mind, give me a call. I'd be more than happy to set up an interview.
- George Sr.: Here's a crazy idea: how about we ask Sheldon what he thinks of all this?
- Mary: Go ahead, but he's not gonna want to go. This is his home, we're his family.
- George Sr.: So, today we found out about a school in Dallas for really smart kids.
- Sheldon: When can I start?
- Mary: Hold on. Dallas is far away, so you'd have to live with another family.
- Sheldon: Do they have a dog?
- Mary: Uh... we don't know.
- Sheldon: Well, can you make some calls?
- Mary: I guess, but wouldn't you miss your mom and dad?
- Sheldon: Oh. Yes, I suppose I will.
- [Mary smirks confidently]
- Sheldon: So, when are you calling about the dog?
- Meemaw: You know him so well.
- Sheldon: [seeing how well-behaved and studious the Wilmont students are] What's wrong with them?
- Mary: What are you talking about?
- Sheldon: They're so quiet. Are they on medication?
- Mary: No. They're just smart like you.
- Sheldon: I've been going to school in a zoo.
- George Sr.: [quietly to Mary] Not too sure about these uniforms. Kinda froufrou.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: I must tell you, in all I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
- George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class. He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
- Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
- Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.
- Mary: Flora, I have to ask about the living arrangements. That's our main concern.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: Well, I think I can reassure you about that. My husband and I have been hosting a student for the last several years who recently graduated and is now at Princeton. So we have a guest room available in our home.
- George Sr.: That's very generous of you. Does your husband work at the school also?
- Dr. Flora Douglas: No, he's retired. He was an astrophysicist for NASA.
- Sheldon: [his interest piqued] Please tell me you don't have a dog.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: No. We're both allergic.
- Sheldon: [turning to Mary] I'm tingling.
- Meemaw: This necklace has been in our family for generations. It belonged to a Comanche warrior who gave it to your great-great-great-great grandma.
- Sheldon: Why'd he give it to her?
- Meemaw: Well, according to family lore, she was, uh... a very accomodating young lady and, uh, they hit it off.
- Sheldon: That's a bird feather.
- Meemaw: Eagle feather.
- Sheldon: Doesn't matter. I don't like birds. Birds are filthy.
- Meemaw: [taking the necklace and pulling the feather off] Okay. Fine. One featherless family heirloom for you to take with you and keep you safe while you're away.
- Sheldon: You don't actually believe this has magic powers, do you?
- Meemaw: Oh, for god's sake, just say thank you.
- Sheldon: Thank you.
- [she gives him a comforting hug]
- Sheldon: There's a price tag on it.
- Meemaw: [pulling the tag off] No, it doesn't.
- Meemaw: He's gonna come home every Friday night.
- Mary: I didn't think I'd have to deal with this 'till he went to college.
- Meemaw: You should thank your lucky stars he's not in college now.
- Meemaw: I'm still not sure that this is the right thing to do.
- Meemaw: Are you worried that he won't like it, or are you worried that he will?
- Mary: You're not helping.
- Meemaw: Well, that's not my job. I think of myself as a speaker of truth.
- Mary: If you're not gonna make me feel better, go away.
- Meemaw: I'm sorry, but you are stuck with me.
- Sheldon: [narrating as an adult] As you can see, even as a small child, people cherished having me around and wept over my absence.
- George Sr.: [having different perspectives on the family in Dallas] Oh, come on. You're making it out like they were some kind of monsters. Sheldon has his own room. There's books everywhere. Even has a big old back yard he won't play in.
- Mary: Aren't you forgetting something?
- George Sr.: What?
- Mary: The underground laboratory.
- George Sr.: I think it's called a finished basement, honey.
- Mary: I know what I saw.
- George Sr.: Mary, it's been a long day. Can we just have a quiet dinner?
- Mary: Sure.
- [scoffing]
- Mary: "Nice people."
- George Sr.: [frustrated] Then why'd we leave him there?
- Mary: Because we love him and we want the best for him.
- Missy: [awkward silence] This is tense.
- Meemaw: Me and the kids had a nice day. Watched a lot of football.
- Georgie: You know the Dolphins' helmet has a dolphin on it? And that dolphin is also wearing a helmet. But its helmet doesn't have a dolphin on it. It has the letter "M."
- Meemaw: We talked about that for an hour.
- Sheldon: Aren't we going to say grace?
- Dr. Flora Douglas: Oh. We don't do that in our house.
- Sheldon: Oh.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: But you're welcome to do so.
- Sheldon: That's all right. I don't believe in God.
- Elliot Douglas: Well, then why would you say grace?
- Sheldon: Because it makes my mom happy.
- Dr. Flora Douglas: And why are you wearing mittens?
- Sheldon: Well, I don't know where your hands have been.
- Mary: I'm telling you, this is a terrible idea. This is a terrible, terrible idea.
- Meemaw: He's gonna be fine. You'll see.
- Mary: I can't believe you're okay with this.
- Meemaw: I'm not okay with this! I'm just trying to be strong for you.
- Mary: What? You thought him leaving was a good idea.
- Meemaw: Oh, I only said that because you thought it was a bad idea. You know how it's always my nature to go the other way. Say "up".
- Mary: Up.
- Meemaw: Down.
- George Sr.: I'll see you in a bit.
- Mary: Where are you off to?
- George Sr.: I'm going to Dallas to get Sheldon.
- Mary: Really?
- George Sr.: Yeah, really.
- Meemaw: What about this being a great opportunity for him?
- George Sr.: Y'all want me to go or not?
- Mary: [simultaneously] Yes! Go!
- Meemaw: Yes, and hurry up!
- Georgie: Where you going?
- George Sr.: To get Sheldon.
- Georgie: Do I get a vote in this?
- George Sr.: No.
- Georgie: Dang.
- Ms. Ingram: [in the teachers' break room] I mean, why'd I bother becoming a teacher? He knows what I'm gonna say before I say it, or I say it and look like a dumbbell.
- Ms. MacElroy: Mm-hmm.
- Sheldon: [flashback] Ms. Ingram, may I offer a suggestion?
- Ms. Ingram: [trying to hold back her frustration] What?
- Sheldon: Never mind. You do it your way.
- Ms. Ingram: No, no. You tell me. Tell me how I'm wrong.
- Sheldon: You assumed an extra axiom of Euclidian geometry without stating it.
- Coach Wilkins: [returning to the break room] Was he right?
- Ms. Ingram: 'Course he's right. He's always right.
- Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like, the other day, I told him "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
- Coach Wilkins: What's a framastan?
- Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up.
- [they share a laugh]
- Ms. MacElroy: He was gone the whole period!
- Coach Wilkins: That's genius.
- Ms. Ingram: I'm using that.
- Ms. MacElroy: Don't use "framastan". That's mine.