- Carla Price: Girl, you are a hot pumpkin spice latte. You're sitting around getting cool and there's a big old hunk of man that would love to burn his tongue on you .
- Carla Price: You want an answer to the question? All firemen are dogs, and the ones that look like the Road Warrior with an adorable birthmark are the doggiest dogs of them all.
- Leonard Finked: Why did you move in if I am so terrible?
- Kelly Wesson: You are not that terrible! Will you please get down so we can talk about how you can improve?
- Kelly Wesson: I don't even know what to say to him anymore!
- Bobby Nash: Telling him to jump is probably not the way to go.
- Evan 'Buck' Buckley: A year ago, I put in to be a Navy Seal.
- Bobby Nash: I didn't know you were in the Navy.
- Evan 'Buck' Buckley: I wasn't. Don't need to be in the Navy to try out for the SEALs. You just have to be particularly badass, which, you know, I am.
- Stephanie: You know what sucks about working? The work part.
- Stephanie's Coworker: I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that.
- Stephanie: I'm serious. Law school was such a huge mistake. We should just come up with an app or something. I mean, if it hits, it is like winning the lottery.
- Stephanie's Coworker: Winning the lottery is not a life strategy, Stephanie.
- Stephanie: Neither is writing briefs for a bunch of douches in suits defending pharmaceutical companies.
- Stephanie's Coworker: Your dad's the managing partner.
- Stephanie: Yeah.
- Abby Clark: He said no.
- Carla Price: Then why are you smiling?
- Abby Clark: Because I had the nerve to call the guy. And sometimes the right kind of no is better than the wrong kind of yes.
- Bobby Nash: Just tell him you're sorry.
- Kelly Wesson: Absolutely not! Okay? I'm not going to admit that I cheated on him!
- Bobby Nash: It doesn't have to be true; he just needs to hear that you're sorry. All right?
- Kelly Wesson: Fine. Leonard? I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what I was thinking. I love you and only you!
- Leonard Finked: You lying bitch.
- Kelly Wesson: Oh! Fine!
- Bobby Nash: I mean, that was pathetic.
- Kelly Wesson: Oh, come on. I tried my best.
- Henrietta 'Hen' Wilson: Mr. Sweet Smile was asking me about *you*.
- Athena Grant: Then he's a bigger dog than the dobermans, because I still have my ring on.