- Greg Hirsch: I'm in Canada.
- Tom Wambsgans: Excuse me? Canada? Canada, with the healthcare and the ennui? Why's that, cocksock?
- Greg Hirsch: Um... I'm driving my grandpa down for Thanksgiving.
- Tom Wambsgans: Oh, Greg, fuck your grandpa.
- Greg Hirsch: Okay, you're on, you're on speakerphone, Tom.
- Tom Wambsgans: [long pause] Well, I shouldn't be, Greg.
- Roman Roy: I went to the market and I bought a crack pipe...
- [everyone groans]
- Connor Roy: That's terrible.
- Roman Roy: No? All right. I went to the market and I bought a gimp suit.
- Tom Wambsgans: And I'm thankful that I am going to be marrying into one of the most vital and interesting and kind and loving families in the world.
- Roman Roy: Are you not going to be marrying Shiv anymore?
- Ewan Roy: This whole family is a nest of vipers. They'll wrap themselves around you, and they'll suffocate you.
- Greg Hirsch: I'm pretty sure...
- [elevator door closes]
- Greg Hirsch: I'm pretty sure that's boa constrictors.
- Frank Vernon: Ever hear of loyalty?
- Kendall Roy: Sure. Wasn't he one of the seven dwarves? No?
- Frank Vernon: Oh...
- Kendall Roy: Oh, he's a rapper. He was in Wu-Tang?
- Greg Hirsch: And you, presumably, you keep that, like, that record of who got what when, right?
- Office Keeper: Uh-huh.
- Greg Hirsch: Yeah. Where does that, like, record go?
- Office Keeper: It goes in this book.
- Greg Hirsch: Cool. Great. Who cares, right? I was just asking because... just in terms of, like, sharing it with third parties, I like to keep...
- [Office Keeper walks away]
- Greg Hirsch: ... keep my data pretty tight.
- Roman Roy: I actually introduced them a few years ago when she was on that hot-party-girl-who-wouldn't-look-twice-at-you-slash-hooker borderline.