- [Mary is looking through one of Sheldon's "Dungeons & Dragons" books]
- Mary: I'm worried. There are incantations in the book to summon actual demons!
- George Sr.: [Turning to his mother-in-law, Meemaw] Is that how we wound up with you?
- Meemaw: That's a good one. I'm gonna give you that.
- [Sheldon is being escorted from Sunday School after he proclaims to be starting a new religion, Mathology, and is trying to recruit members]
- Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid!
- [Mr. Sparks is trying to decide which of his chickens is going to be dinner]
- Herschel Sparks: Now, which of you is tired of this life?... You.
- [Sheldon is holding his first Mathology sermon in his garage]
- Sheldon: Welcome to the Church of Mathology. Today I'd like to talk about prime numbers and why they bring us joy.
- Billy Sparks: Hallelujah!
- Mary: Listen. Are you aware that Tam and Sheldon are playing Dungeons & Dragons?
- Le Nguyen: Dungeons & Dragons?
- Mary: Yes. And it's filled with demons and Satanic images!
- Le Nguyen: [to his wife, in Vietnamese] Please talk to the white woman. I'm very busy!
- Trang Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] But, I've got customers!
- Le Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] Please! I ask you for so little!
- Trang Nguyen: [in Vietnamese] And you give me so little.
- Le Nguyen: So, what is the problem with this game?
- Mary: The problem is, it goes against the teachings of the church!
- Le Nguyen: All right, listen to me. A problem is starving to death in a Communist reeducation camp. A problem is not seeing your family for many years, while you remove land mines from the Ho Chi Minh Trail. A game boys play with make-believe demons? Not a problem.
- Mary: Well, I think they can all be problems!