- [first lines]
- Peter Griffin: Is it me or does David Ortiz look just like the mom on Good Times?
- Cleveland Brown: Aw Peter, that's racist.
- Peter Griffin: No, look.
- [he shows a picture of Florida and David Ortiz smiling the exact same way]
- Cleveland Brown: I take it back. That's not racist, that's just accurate.
- Peter Griffin: [when trying to get the boat into the water] I feel like everyone watching knows I'm incapable of pleasing my wife sexually.
- Joe Swanson: [snatches gun off Quagmire] I'm keeping this until you start thinking straight!
- Gun: Use it on yourself, Joe. There's more than one bullet in here!
- Joe Swanson: On second thoughts, maybe you should look after this.
- [gives gun to Cleveland]
- Gun: Are you really gonna sit there after all the shit the White Man has put you through?
- Cleveland: You take this.
- [Hands gun to Peter]
- Gun: Hey Peter! With me you could get free tacos!
- Peter Griffin: [Holding up Taco Store] And I did!
- [last lines]
- Joe Swanson: So Quagmire, how's the new rod holding up?
- Glenn Quagmire: Yeah, you know... good. Pretty good. I've been having a lot of sex. Uhm... my dad didn't mention there's a four-inch mole on the left side.
- Cleveland Brown: What?
- Glenn Quagmire: Uh-huh. It's like the size of a fifty-cent piece on a dime kissing each other.
- Peter Griffin: Yikes. Frightening.
- Glenn Quagmire: Yeah. Some gals find it offputting. I tried to tell them it's my dad's old penis, but, um... that just tends to make it worse. But the girls that stay are just great.
- Joe Swanson: Well, I'm happy for you Quagmire.
- Glenn Quagmire: Don't be. Anyway, I gotta take a leak.
- Joe Swanson: Well, I'm just glad our friend is back to his old self.
- Cleveland Brown: Yeah, seems he hasn't missed a beat.
- Joe Swanson: It's great that we can be there for each other in trying times.
- [he finally notices Quagmire who has been screaming while they're talking]
- Joe Swanson: What's that noise?
- Cleveland Brown: That's the sound of peeing out your daddy's weiner.